Are you married to your spouse....

... or the media?

When I created Stilettos & a fishing pole back in March 2010,

I began it with intentions of it being my "scrapbook". I used to be very involved in scrap booking & capturing memories. Technology grew and I was no longer getting pictures developed - I found myself uploading all my photos to my computer.

This made it very hard to scrapbook.

I instantly fell in love with blogging. I loved writing my thoughts and feelings &

looking back on mine & Aaron's life together. I began to "meet" people I never knew & also attach myself to their life & personalities. Soon, I began to {link-up} answering questions about myself & so on. I found this brought me to meet more bloggers - I loved it.  I found more people starting to follow my life & that was a big compliment.

I've always been a big social person - in school, with media, with strangers & with my closest people in my life. I've always been known as "the social butterfly" - in fact

that's one of the things my husband loves about me the most, how I interact with everyone.

Aaron on the other hand is more set back. He has to feel comfortable somewhere to stand out & social media was never his go-to. Actually, the only time he would connect with MySpace or Facebook back in the days when we would be on our "outs". For the most part, he could careless.

Me? I used to be a MySpace junkie & now a Facebook junkie.

This drives my husband insane. He's always nagging me about it - and until lately I've realized it's pretty serious. I'v also seen it in others relationships.
Ever notice it's easy to see what's wrong in other situations but not so much your own?
Well, I've see this be a problem in the past few weeks on different accounts.
My eyes were opened - I'm just as bad, if not worse.

I read books on how to be the wife God intended me to be religiously. I constantly strive to remind myself to do this and not that. Why haven't I woken up and smelled the coffee that {media} has taken me over. I do not like that.

I can not get in the car without posting {Dinner at Jalapenos with my Love} or

taking a picture (that he hates) to upload on FB or now twitter. My husband and I watch The Bachelor/ette when it aires - I started having to see what everyone else is posting or tweeting therefore it was no longer OUR time. I constantly had my phone dividing my time with my husband along with social media. This is not good. Our time is precious and I am wasting it away. How sad.

This year, I participated in LENT - I am southern baptist however I felt it was a great thing

to jump in and give something up for GOD.  And truthfully, not just for GOD but for my husband - I've chosen FB. I had a lot of questions on why I would do that -  and to be honest, it offended me a bit.  However, I continued on.  It's actually horrible to admit how many times I go to get on my FB app. Every stop light, grocery store line, etc. I never knew how much I depend on it to keep me entertained. Since I've given it up, I've become a tweeter & now an instagram-er. My husband has now started hiding my phone from me - this is sad. This is horrible and at first I found it funny but if this isn't a HUGE sign waving {Spend Time With Me}, I don't know what else is. Nothing is worth loosing my time with him. Really & disturbing.

My eyes began to see clearly and make me realize he wants my attention - he wants me.

Why would I give it to someone else? That being said, I'm really going to start focusing on

putting this horrible addiction/habit down. I'm not giving any of it up however, I need to put him first and not second. My marriage involves three people; Me, Aaron, & the media.  I can not let this happen any longer.

With all this being said,  I've been reading a lot of blogs on how Media has damaged their

marriages/relationships - another huge eye opener. I've had several people/bloggers admire my marriage {which is a huge compliment} and my husband {which is another huge compliment} for being what it is- remember it's not perfect. Clearly, because I wouldn't be writing this on my struggles. Remember that his grandmother once told me, Never bad mouth your husband in front of anyone, this way he always knows you are on his side. -I share my problems, not his nor ours.

Do you ever feel like you have the {Grass is Greener} Syndrome?

 "Every marriage has its good days and bad days, that’s the fact of life. However when your marriage is going through a particularly troubling time and you read blogs about how wonderful someone else’s life is or your old boyfriend connects up with you it can add additional undue stress to your marriage. When I was a newlywed I heard an older gentleman speaking on Dr. Dobson’s radio program about what made his marriage successful. He said “There were times in our marriage where I didn’t like my wife very much; there were times when she didn’t like me very much. The secret to a successful marriage is to not dislike each other at the same time. The other person can hold on for the both of you.” I have clung to that through the turbulent times in our marriage." - OurSimpleLife.com

I've run into this lately, only in a different light.  We as bloggers open up our home & life  to share to the world - such a wonderful thing,  as we do we also begin to see others lives & challenaging ourselves to envy other lifestyles and see what we don't have. I've picked this up recently and I am now putting it back down. This is not who I am. This is not what I am or what I want to become. I am not a jealous person nor do I live for what others have. I will admit I've found small pieces of me begin to think that way.  No more.

I absoultely love everyone we have together & at this time in our life, I want nothing else.

 

Is blogging starting to corrupt me?

No mam'. I know who I am which is a happily married woman living in a small house in the country- who drives a bright blue focus that I really do hate but a large payment is something I do not want - instead I want vacation. I won't buy expensive work out clothes because I think it's a waste - and I can hardly get myself to exercise period. I eat horribly in which I strive for the better. I struggle with household balance. I struggle with keeping my house clean.  I can not keep a plant a live for the life of me - besides my cactus.  I have a lot of faults and I am not afraid to say it. I am not perfect and sometimes I feel  in this blogging world - we are made to look perfect.  I am not a step ford wife & I never want to be a step ford wife. I never want to have it all together. I am not perfect, infact I don't even know what perfect stands for. I love this life of mine & I am going to continue to love it - and everything is has in it.

So -  are you married to your spouse or the media?

I did a link up incase anyone wants to write about their experience
or go into depth with their thoughts - however I'd love your feedback here also.

Fart where?

Grab the Button

Link Up

Get CrRraZy & have some fun!

1. What is the best compliment you've ever received?

that I am 'truly a happy person'.

I love hearing that because happiness is great to be about. Nobody like depressing people.

Am I right? Okay, I'll stop braggin - moving along.

2. SEAT BELT?

Always.Never.Sometimes.

 I'm guilty of not always wearing my seat belt. go ahead any say

'Oh.Me.Gah - and WHY?'

3. Fill in the blank.

You know your comfortable with your spouse when you _____________.

Fart in the same bath water.

Need I say more?

4. Someone gives you a gift wrapped in a 6 inch square box, what is it?

 Car Keys? Like a new set.

No - please NOT to the Smurfette. She's overrated...& needs to

be passed down to a child.

5. You are at Chic-fil-a, what do you order?

Spicy Chicken Sandwich with Pepper Jack Cheese & a coke.

5 Days of Marriage

Marriage

From "I DO" to Forever

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of heaven dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the showers of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from

the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let

each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they

quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each

other's shadow.

                                                                        ♥ Kahlil Gibran

5 Days of Marriage: Laughter and Fun

Marriage

From "I DO"

to Forever

If you can't remember the last time you and

your partner had some fun together - just

plain old fun - then you are long overdue....

It doesn't matter if you're out at the movies

together or barefoot in the park. It doesn't

matter if you're playing soccer or Twister. It

doesn't matter if you're laughing our loud or

just smiling and feeling happy. All that matters

is your willingness to take time as a couple

for play. It's an indispensable ingredient in

the day-to-day recipe that yields the delicious

feeling of being liked.

                                                                                  ♥ Steven Carter

5 Days of Marriage: Secrets to a happy marriage

Marriage

From "I DO"

to Forever

Happiness in marriage is not somthing that just

happens. A good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage that little things are

the big things...

It is never  being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say, I love you, as least

once each day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time take other for granted. The

courtship shouldn't end with the honeymoon;

it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common

objectives; it is standing together facing

the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the

whole family.

It is doing things for each other,

not in the attitude of duty of sacrifice, but in the spirit

of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and

demondstrating gratitude in throughtful ways.

5 Days of Marriage: Importance of Romance

Marriage

From "I DO"

to Forever

In order for love to thive, not just survive,

it needs a protective environment.

We call it romance,

and it is as necessary as love

as the air we breathe is to living.

Love can't exist in a vacuum.

It needs more than two individuals

staring blankly at each other.

For love to grow, the two people need to

communicate.

The sounds, smells, sights, and touches

that are the main ingreditents of love

must somehow be passed back and forth

between the lovers.

Romance is the medium

for this transferal.

                                                       ♥ Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer

5 Days of Marriage

MARRIAGE

From "I DO"  to Forever

Cherish each other

in big ways and in small ways,

and never forget the magic

of those three little words: "I love you."

In marriage, remember that

it is the little things that make the difference...

Don't forget the birthdays and the anniversaries.

An occasional note means a lot.

Share each other's life - even the small details -

for too often we forget that day-after-day becomes

year-after-year, and then it's gone.

Give each other room to grow...

We all need our time alone.

Keep strong your faith in each other;

time has a funny way of testing us,

and it's faith that gets us through.

Respect one another...

This world could always use more of that.

Speak your mind honestly, openly, but with kindness,

for angry words are scars that may never heal.

Trust each other; let your trust be your rock.

Most of all, each day...

be sure to hold each other

and fall in love all over again.

                                                        ♥ Julia Escobar