Keep Me Accountable, Week 2

{I promise to blog about more interesting topics, come back tomorrow for my post on our Trip to the Bahamas.}



This e-card stays with me - everyday, every time I wanna be lazy.
It's SO true.

Week: 2       

"The Hardest Step for a Runner

is the first step out of the front door."

My Goal

Due Date:   8 weeks      Weight Goal:  26 lbs      Fitness Goal: Run a 5k

"The hardest step is the first foot out the door"

-I totally agree. Last week I started my "running" routine. Even though I didn't run very far,
I still managed to make it. Monday & Tuesday were crap days & because of Tuesday night dinner {read here}, I felt horrible come Wednesday morning.
Take a look how it went.

Thank you ALL once again for your loving support. You have no idea how much your
words of encouragement is helping me stay motivated. I had tears in my ears last week
reading all of your comments on my first day of hell.


It's getting easier as the days go by yet I'm still out of breath as I run the small distance
{not sure how far but I think it's a little under half a mile} - This week I want to stretch my run a little more && push harder. I haven't really lost any more weight, but I can see changes in my body, definitely.

&& that evening I ran again...

Who was excited?

THIS girl.

Friday = break day.

I wanted to run. I was scared not to - however my muscles in my legs

were really tight && sore. I didn't want to push my body TOO much to soon.

I did a lot of stretches to help.

It's getting easier as the days go by yet I'm still out of breath as I run the small distance - {not sure how far but I think it's a little under half a mile} - This week I want to stretch my run a little more && push harder. I haven't really lost any more weight, but I can see changes in my body, definitely.

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      You can't get much done in life ....

        if you only worked the days you felt good.

    Join in, Share your story... if you'd like to.

The hardest step is to get up & out the door....

For the past three days, I've woke up swollen.
My rings are trying to suffocate my fingers and I don't like it.
My body is puffy and bloated.
Ha... what's new?
Last night, I cooked Chicken Alfredo for dinner.
I ate horrible. I did not do good and not once did I think of my weight loss goal.
UNTIL... Stephanie tagged me on Instagram with a picture of her about to run.
Shit.
That's exactly what I said out loud.
Not only did I feel bad about 1} not exercising like I told myself I would. 2}my body felt worse because didn't portion my foods. I was miserable. I hated myself for it.
I went to bed early having no thoughts on getting up in the morning for a workout.

6:00am alarm {usually to get my husband up}
I look at my fingers and I see....

I rolled my eyes. Laid my head back down. Sat up and took a picture.
My husband sits up, "What the heck are you doing?"
"My fingers are swollen and I'm gonna see if my blog friends know what I can do."
He laughs.
I lay back down. Miserable. I'm still bloated and stuffed from the night before.
That's a horrible feeling.
I start thinking about ALL OF YOU.
Get up Jess.
Then I thought of the E-Card I post on Mondays saying are you aren't get anywhere by
thinking of running.
I wanted to go back to sleep.
My husband was lazy and wouldn't get up.
I wanted to sleep.
I thought more of ALL OF YOU.
Get up Jess.
Run a loop.
Do a work-out off the TV.
I want to sleep.

Finally, I popped up - said "Get up!"
Went into the kitchen, got watermelon {my MIL said it would help my swollen-ness}
Ate a huge piece.
Aaron walks in... totally confused, calls me weird and gives me a kiss.
Finally he leaves. I get my work-out clothes on {tore the tags off from Christmas, remember?}
and went to find my shoes.

I was nervous.
I'm not gonna lie. I felt huge.
I took a picture thinking, Let's do a before and after.

Went to run out the door & saw my MIL pulling away.

I hid inside. {go ahead and laugh}

Waited.

Went to go back outside... & my SIL was driving up to my MIL house.

I hid.

Then thought, screw it. Just run.

So I did. I ran out the door, down the driveway, and to the end of the road.

I had to take two 15 second walks in between because my lungs were.. Heck I don't even know. I thought I was gonna die.

I wanted to quit.

I thought of ALL OF YOU.

Don't quit. Keep running. You aren't running very far, I kept telling myself.

You can do this.

Go to the end of the road, totally out of breath and as I turned around ...

I thought I'd never make it back home.
Truthfully, I felt horrible.
I felt as if I were going to hack up all the watermelon I just downed.
I was struggling.

15 seconds later. I started running... {more of a jog}.
This time it wasn't so hard - it seemed.
But I STILL felt so bloated and disgusting.
I made it to the front porch and wanted to lay down in our grassy yard...

I'm not laughing there. I'm breathing... hard.

I was struggling.

I DID IT!!!

It felt so good to know I finished the small run I did.

Trust me. It was no long run. MAYBE - half a mile.

I walked inside and thought, should I do a home workout?

I couldn't. Well... I probably could but I felt so yucky.

I really did.

I sat on the couch, while watching Lizzy McGuire {it was just on}

and really thought I was gonna throw up.

I actually felt good, my body did.

I really did. But then again, I did not feel good.

I struggled to get off the couch.

Finally, I ran by bath - started to think about getting for work.

Many responses from Instagram were popping up left and right.

Thank you ALL for your sweet comments. They truly help me & hold me accountable.

And before I do go, I will share something I said I would NOT do to myself...



But I did.

Why not?

I need to see the difference after all of this is over.

Well...

I think I succeeded - for today.

Keep Me Accountable

Before I brag on myself, I want to brag on all of you.

Wow. Last Monday after writing my {Laying it ALL out on the Line} post, emails of encouragement starting pouring in - I couldn't believe the support from all of you. Your encouragement continued ALL week. I'm totally overwhelmed in the best way you can possibly be. I keep going back and reading ALL your words & advice. You have no idea how much you've helped me. I hope you ALL continue to support me by stopping in & keeping me accountable. If I could hug you, I totally would.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You!!!

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Week: 1       

"The Hardest Step for a Runner

is the first step out of the front door."

My Goal

Due Date:   8 weeks      Weight Goal:  26 lbs      Fitness Goal: Run a 5k

Went well. I was really pumped about all the supporters, I definitely kept thinking of all of you & THIS post every time I wanted to eat like a chunk.
To be totally honest, my quote up there ... Yeah, I failed. Running, I didn't do any of.
Excuses, Excuses. With leaving for our camping trip Wednesday and being it was our first time out in our camper, I kept ALL my extras minutes packing and stocking... making sure everything was set & ready to go {besides Monday night, I DID watch The Bachelorette while baking homemade chocolate chip cookies}. As I'm typing this, one thing comes to mind... someone said to me if you can make time to get up and go to work, you can make time to exercise. Well, if I can make time to watch The Bachelorette, ... yeah. Dammit!
Well, I'm not done. I'm still learning but I'm ready to take on this thing I hate called
R.U.N.N.I.N.G.

My eating went well. I splurged, yes. However, thanks to ALL of you who introduced me
to {MyFitnessPal}, my gosh where was this two months ago... I stayed under my calories.
I love this APP. Thank you X a million.
According to this app, my daily calorie intake is 1200.

The scale says I've lost weight.
Whoo-hoo!!!

How much? 3 pounds.
I'm super excited. If I keep this up, I totally can think I drop my goal in 8 weeks.
I plan on entering my exercise this week - I'm really pumped!

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      You can't get much done in life ....

        if you only worked the days you felt good.

Join in, share your story... if you'd like to.

    

Laying it ALL out on the line.

photo credit

Not usually the one to be sad.

Not sure if I'm sad.

Not sure what I'm feeling deep inside.

Okay, so in general. I'm happy. I've always been a happy person.
I'm not one to look at the negative or see the worst in something. I live to

make memories and bring peace... finding the good.

I'm not a fan of Debbie-Downers or Negative Nancys.
Those two ladies DRIVE.ME.NUTTS-O.

I'm happy waking up. I'm happy going to work.  I'm happy at work. I'm happy coming home.  I'm happy in my marriage. I'm happy with my friendships. I'm happy with the people around me. I happy when I lay down at night to sleep.

That being said.
I am totally unhappy with myself, my appearance, my look...
better yet said as, I'm unhappy with how I feel about myself.

I've always been comfortable with who I am. I've never been one to play the

low self esteem card or wear it.

Whether I felt amazing about my body or gained extra pounds. Whether I'd have great skin one week and  the following week Fred & his friends visit my face galore.

Good or bad hair days, Good or bad makeup days...

I've always just been me and A-OKay with whatever happened.

I knew it was a phase and would come and go.

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I've gained 16 pounds....

SIXTEEN pounds since my honeymoon.

That is not okay with me.

I hate it. I don't like it. I feel horrible. I'm a lazy ass. End of story.

I actually lost 18 LBS for my wedding. But I did NOT feel this bad. I actually felt good.
I did not feel or as yuck as I do today.

I actually went Gluten Free for 2.5 weeks and even though I maybe lost like 6 lbs

I felt really good. Six pounds in 2.5 weeks was great.

And then I went on the cruise. Started out eating right and then proved I was from America and doubled my eating.
Eating GF was not as hard as I expected. I tell myself everyday just pick up and go GF starting tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I'm eating everything I see.

Everyday, I want to eat everything in site.
As if I've never ever eaten before.
What's up with that?
I'm not pregnant. Aunt Flo just left town yesterday.
Hallelujah! {TMI?}

I signed up for the gym. I haven't been ... not once.

I started doing work outs from our ON DEMAND {which are great}

but ... I didn't keep up.

I got lots of workouts clothes && tennis shoes
for Christmas. Yes, I said Christmas. The tags have NOT been taking off of the clothes
and only because of kick ball have I worn my tennis shoes... until I got cleats.
That's just sad. So sad.

I used to be able to drop weight like nothing.

It's true. The closer you get to your 30's the harder it is. And I'm sure it gets worse.

Basically, I'm lazy. I want motivation. I need it. I have none.

I'm wearing the sad face and playing the low self esteem card ---  I don't like it.

Also, before EVER thinking of getting pregnant, I want to have all of this under control.
I want to already be exercising on a regular basis.
 Speaking of exercise. Exercising is another lazy bone I have.
I think about it NON-stop! NON-STOP. All day long about how I need to just
run. Or do this. Or do that. And if I did, I know it would help everything.
 I plan in my head to get up early to run or do whatever and what happens. Sleep comes first and I don't get up in time to fit it in.

It really makes me angry inside that I have NO self motivation.
I know. It's me. All me. I sound so awful. I'm the person I hate listening to.

Randomly and unexpected I vowed to my husband while laying in bed last night...

I said it out loud {in a non-sad, tell me what I wanna hear} voice...

I wanna vow something to you...

Okay....

I vow to get back where I was in my weight.

.... What?

I promised myself before we got married that I would not get "comfortable" and let myself go, and I have. I have completely.

J, you look great. All the time. You have no let yourself go.

I've gained so much weight and it's ridiculous. I need to promise this to you, for you & for me.

Okay. Well I'm not vowing to you. You just may have to get fat Aaron.

Are you telling me you're trying to get fat? {laughing}

No. {laughing} but I'm probably not going to hold back on eating.

And then we went to bed.

I'm not writing this because I want to play the low self esteem card.

I'm writing this - sharing this because if I say it out loud I know I will be more accountable.

I'm Lazy. I'm not hungry. I'm Lazy.

 Starting EVERY Monday, I plan to post about my fitness & weight.
Not very blog interesting I know but I think this way I will work harder to reach my goals.

What are my goals?

I've set up a reunion/girls weekend for my very old girlfriends back from middle school.
We all moved away and ventured off. Some of us got married. Some of us have become Mommys, some of us... are still figuring it out.
But there are seven of us spending the weekend together in Florida the weekend of
July19th. These ladies are teeny-tiny. I don't want to be tiny. I will always have curves & hips. But I don't want to be the one skipping out on the group shot while drinking margaritas on the beach. Actually, I don't want to be the girl who can't quit figeting and thinking about what she looks like.
Also, I don't want to do this for anyone else. I want to do this for me.
I want to do this for me & my husband.
I want this for ME.

I want to loose not only the 16lbs I've gained but 10 more lbs.
That's right. a WOP-N' 26 lbs.

Due Date: July 19th
Weight Loss Goal: 26LBS
Fitness: Run a 5k before July 19th.

I have 60 days to get there.
I want this for ME.

I want to do this the right way.
Any tips or suggestions?
Please, I'd love to hear it from you.

Now.
 Who is ready for The Bachelorette?
ME. Me. Me!!!
I'm SO excited. Ready to see what's up!

Oh & I'm looking for a BLOG designer. I need a new look.
Please suggest some designers to me. Thanks.

222 Days

So I'm riding in the Smurfette early last week as I'm on the way to work. I was listening to my morning ritual talk show, Kidd Kraddick in the Morning... Anyhow, the topic getting married came up. Of course all ears tune in. Yaddi Yaddi Ya Blah Blah Blah... We all know that every woman always looses weight for her wedding. Then she gains is back after the honeymoon wears off.... Skkkkkirt! Loose Weight? Geez, I haven't even thought of it. Of COURSE I could use the extra pounds off this crazy, apple looking body of mine... Okay, maybe like 10-15lbs. However, I haven't thought of it. I have 222 days as we speak... right now. That is SEVEN months, ONE week, and THREE days! Yikes!

Tomorrow is the BIG day. I'm not going to kill myself or even say I'm "dieting". Matter of fact, I hate that term. When you diet... Let me rephrase. When I diet... I starve myself and do abnormal things, and then I go back to the same old habits and gain it back. So... I am trying to change. About two years ago, I lost 30 lbs. I was into a size 3/4. I don't have to back that size again, however I'd love to fist comfortably back in my 5's.  I need exercise. I know if I exercise, I will drop it off fast. Motivation??? Ha! I'm getting married, enough said!  I refuse to have the extra 12 lbs that I have let myself put on, on my wedding day. Also... There is nothing worse than armpit tit fat hanging over your blouse!

Yes, I said it &&& I ain't gonna lie... I have it. Yucky!

So... I start tomorrow.

I bought a journal. 2 years ago, I wrote down everything I ate. Even if it was a teaspoon of Ketchup.

I ate 1200 calories [300 for Breakfast/400 for Lunch/500 for Dinner] [Tip: You can NOT eat 200 for breakfast and 500 for lunch... doesn't work like that] and the first month dropped 15lbs. I don't know how I did that... I can't do that anymore. I've tried. However, If I could loose 2lbs a least every two weeks... Which I know I can do 2lbs isn't bad, then I will be happy. I have four weeks until our engagement party... So, that means I have to shed half of that weight. Totally do-able!

I started bringing my lunch to work last week [after that talk show]. Smart Ones is my choice. They are delish + very reasonable calories! Today I ate Fettucini Alfredo for only 240 calories. I added 5 saltine crackers to filled in emptiness a tad more for only 60 calories. Which equals 300 calories!

Tomorrow I'm starting my workout!

I signed up for Jillian Huffs workout system and order this DVD. If I like it, I will go and order the rest!

It's going DOWN!

I'm excited and ready for it. Weight Loss HERE I come!

Last but NOT least....

Saturday, My Groom & I are entering the BIGGEST LOSER contest at our hometown fitness gym!

Starting Saturday - We have 12 weeks to loose body fat. We will be divided into groups of... I don't have a clue and it's accounted for each group. So which ever team TOGETHER looses the most body fat... wins!

Anywho, I'm excited. Whether my team wins or looses, I'm gonna push myself. Little contests like these are the best things for me. It keeps me on track... I do NOT wanna weigh in though. Yikes!  That's why I'm starting NOW!

Weight Loss Goal by August 3, 2011 - Loose 18lbs!

If I can't do it by then... [which is totally unexceptable] then...

Well... I should be ashamed! I gotta look good for my hubby to be! :) && for myself! ;)

If you would like to join in on this fun... link up and share what you have been doing!

I will have Mr. Linky every Monday and I will keep everyone updated on how it's going! :)

Join in & Link Up!