Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The hardest step is to get up & out the door....

For the past three days, I've woke up swollen.
My rings are trying to suffocate my fingers and I don't like it.
My body is puffy and bloated.
Ha... what's new?
Last night, I cooked Chicken Alfredo for dinner.
I ate horrible. I did not do good and not once did I think of my weight loss goal.
UNTIL... Stephanie tagged me on Instagram with a picture of her about to run.
That's exactly what I said out loud.
Not only did I feel bad about 1} not exercising like I told myself I would. 2}my body felt worse because didn't portion my foods. I was miserable. I hated myself for it.
I went to bed early having no thoughts on getting up in the morning for a workout.

6:00am alarm {usually to get my husband up}
I look at my fingers and I see....

I rolled my eyes. Laid my head back down. Sat up and took a picture.
My husband sits up, "What the heck are you doing?"
"My fingers are swollen and I'm gonna see if my blog friends know what I can do."
He laughs.
I lay back down. Miserable. I'm still bloated and stuffed from the night before.
That's a horrible feeling.
I start thinking about ALL OF YOU.
Get up Jess.
Then I thought of the E-Card I post on Mondays saying are you aren't get anywhere by
thinking of running.
I wanted to go back to sleep.
My husband was lazy and wouldn't get up.
I wanted to sleep.
I thought more of ALL OF YOU.
Get up Jess.
Run a loop.
Do a work-out off the TV.
I want to sleep.

Finally, I popped up - said "Get up!"
Went into the kitchen, got watermelon {my MIL said it would help my swollen-ness}
Ate a huge piece.
Aaron walks in... totally confused, calls me weird and gives me a kiss.
Finally he leaves. I get my work-out clothes on {tore the tags off from Christmas, remember?}
and went to find my shoes.

I was nervous.
I'm not gonna lie. I felt huge.
I took a picture thinking, Let's do a before and after.

Went to run out the door & saw my MIL pulling away.
I hid inside. {go ahead and laugh}
Went to go back outside... & my SIL was driving up to my MIL house.
I hid.
Then thought, screw it. Just run.

So I did. I ran out the door, down the driveway, and to the end of the road.
I had to take two 15 second walks in between because my lungs were.. Heck I don't even know. I thought I was gonna die.
I wanted to quit.
I thought of ALL OF YOU.
Don't quit. Keep running. You aren't running very far, I kept telling myself.
You can do this.
Go to the end of the road, totally out of breath and as I turned around ...

I thought I'd never make it back home.
Truthfully, I felt horrible.
I felt as if I were going to hack up all the watermelon I just downed.
I was struggling.

15 seconds later. I started running... {more of a jog}.
This time it wasn't so hard - it seemed.
But I STILL felt so bloated and disgusting.
I made it to the front porch and wanted to lay down in our grassy yard...

I'm not laughing there. I'm breathing... hard.
I was struggling.


It felt so good to know I finished the small run I did.
Trust me. It was no long run. MAYBE - half a mile.

I walked inside and thought, should I do a home workout?
I couldn't. Well... I probably could but I felt so yucky.
I really did.
I sat on the couch, while watching Lizzy McGuire {it was just on}
and really thought I was gonna throw up.
I actually felt good, my body did.
I really did. But then again, I did not feel good.

I struggled to get off the couch.
Finally, I ran by bath - started to think about getting for work.
Many responses from Instagram were popping up left and right.
Thank you ALL for your sweet comments. They truly help me & hold me accountable.

And before I do go, I will share something I said I would NOT do to myself...

But I did.
Why not?
I need to see the difference after all of this is over.

I think I succeeded - for today.


K said...

It is SO hard to get motivated when all you want to do is just relax. But great job getting out there! I'm trying to get back in the swing of things myself! I started a weekly link-up for people trying to lose weight! You should join us!

Heather (GurleeGirrl) said...

Good job!!!! It's a great start for you girly!! Be proud - it's tough to get your butt out of bed but you did it!!! Keep it up!

Nicole said...

Way to go!!! It doesn't matter how far you've gone, how fast you go...and as long as you keep moving, who cares if you walk part of it? I started walking, and then added jogging...pretty soon I was able to job 1.5 miles, up large hills, without stopping. You'll get there, it just isn't gonna happen overnight!

I always feel bloated after I eat a meal like that-too much salt! Just drink a bunch of water with lemon the next day, and stay away from salty things and you should be good to go!

Mrs. Chavis said...

I love this Jess! Get it girl!! :)

Erin said...

Pasta makes me feel bloated every time!!! It sucks, because I love it!
SO proud of you for getting up and running even though you felt like you could die. You did it and that is all that matters. WHO cares how far you ran/jog/walked - you did it! It will get easier each time so just be patient.

Kori Donahue said...

Way to go honey!!!! Have a fabulous Wednesday darling! Kori xoxo

Carolyn said...

YAY! Proud of you!! :)

Brittany said...

Awesome job! I agree I sit there and tell myself I will work out tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and I would rather do anything else. So good for you for doing it. Now I gotta follow your lead :)

Anonymous said...

Great job getting out of the house and just doing it! I argue with myself all the time about getting off my butt and going out and running.. I never do. It's also awesome that you are confident enough to post before pictures! I've been debating doing that, but then again I haven't even tried to start working out like I should. Once again, great job!!

Ashley said...

I am proud of you!!! You did great!!! Starting is the hardest part I find and I have started a few times lol!

I am thinking of doing the ab challenge!!

dottie said...

Woo hoo! Good job!

I feel like a tub of lard right now. I shall go get my large behind on the elliptical stat. Thanks for the push.

Erin said...

Good for you girlfriend! I'm always puffy/bloated when I've had a lot of carbs-- the pastas and breads are my weakness, trust me. But if I can do low-carb days (50-60 per day) for even just a week, I can feel/see a huge difference!

Good for you for working out- I struggle with the starting motivation too!

~Katie said...

Good job! I sure as heck wouldn't have been able to push myself out of bed. Youve motivated me to at least go for a walk after work!

Anonymous said...

I know how hard it is! I'm in your exact same boat. We can do it! You have a great start so far! Motivation is the hardest to keep hold of! Have a great Wednesday!!

Ashley said...

I was sitting here thinking that I didnt want to run when i get home but now I am. You are doing so good...and soon you wont even tink twice about doing it. Just a tip..its all about how you breathe when you run..that really helps me.

Victoria said...

I love your honesty Jess, believe me the very first steps are the hardest, before you know it you will be up and at it like crazy running 3 miles!!! I am so proud of you!!! And really glad you took the before pics, I deleted a lot of mine from when I was big, thinking I'd never get thinner, but I did, and now I wish I had the befores to compare!!

Keep at it chicka!!!

<3 V

mrsj said...

I am glad some one else gets puffy the way I do. I swear if I eat anything with salt I can feel my feet swelling.
You can do it girl!!

Teenage Bride said...

You go girl!!!! You rock

Steph@ Living The Young Life said...

oh my chica!!! your going to do GREAT at the 5k... the first run is the hardest ..if you do it so many days in a row and one day think o ill take a break you WON"T you'll feel like your leg is gone or something and need to go run!! keep it up!!

Kristen said...

Great Job!! Hopefully your swelling goes down soon! Thank you for the motivation!!

Lauren said...

I am so in the same place as you right now - feeling gross, fat, etc. I've attempted to start a running program several times, usually only lasting a week or two at most - I seriously hate running. I'm on a kick right now, I'm trying to go 3-4x a week....the hardest step is out the door - we can do it! :)

Emily said...

You are awesome!! I've been working on walking--the running will be something I have to work up towards. I took our dog for a walk the other day, tried to sprint a little, and thought I was going to die.

You're not alone. Keep up the good work, girl!

The Pink Growl said...

GOOD FOR YOU! It's definitely hard to make yourself when you don't feel pretty, but that's the only way you can change the way you look. You are brave for taking this step and posting those pics. I LOVE that last little saying - it's so true. Even though I hate it, sweating is good for you! Sweating is fat leaving your body. Keep it up! :)

CALLIE said...

So proud of you!! I just got up for a morning workout for the first time last Monday. I managed to do it three times last week and this morning. It's mizzz... but once your out of the bed, it's all good! Your running will get easier and easier by the day. Especially when you start seeing results :)

caitlin said...

good for you, sweetie! You've motivated me to work out & lose this baby weight :)

lori said...

jess, i am so proud of you! seriously. i wish i could hug you. i know its hard. i seriously have to repeat the sayings on my pinterest motivation board every morning to get up and make myself work out {i've only been going good for two weeks}. and i really did almost not do it today.... so i am SO glad you posted. because i felt better after i did workout.

just stick with it... it will get easier. and remember that its okay to walk in the beginning... just keep going.

and idk if you've seen my go for the goal monthly link up, but we are having it on friday... every month (usually around the 1st) we post about our progress with our new years resolutions or goals... you can join at any time. no pressure, but if you want to make a post, it would be a good way to be specific with your goals and track your process every month.

Katherine said...

Good for you girl! :) I have to yank myself out of bed everyday to work out heck just to get up and go to work. You CAN do it!

Stephanie said...

So SO proud of you love muffin!! Good job sister!! All it takes is that first run, that first pound, that first inch and you'll be so much more motivated!! You're doing great. As always-I think you're gorgey no matter what but I know the feeling of puffy/bloated. (Dealt with that 2 1/2 years ago and haven't gone back since.)

I know you can do it.
You know you can do it.

Love ya! xoxo Keep it up!!

Hannah said...

So inspiring! I need to get off my butt... I can't even get past that first step! Keep it up!! xo

Champagne Lifestyle on a Beer Budget

Brittanie said...

You are amazing!!! This is so great and you definitely just took the first step. I was in your shoes about a month ago - literally felt like sh*t all the time - but with a few days of sweat my body has been happier and I've been craving more fruit vs. sugar (trust me I still dip into Ben & Jerry's). You look great and the next thing to do is cheer each other on!

Southern Gorgeous said...

Wait to go sweetheart!! <3

Lindsey said...

so insipred by your honesty. I'm going through the exact same thing love. We can do this together!