Wednesday, February 29, 2012

nobody likes negative nancy.

Never judge an egg by it's shell...


Never judge a blogger by the way his/her blog looks, how a post is written
or what a person writes about. You may be missing out on someone just like you - your missing link.

Lately I've run into a lot of negative comments/words in a lot of different areas around me. I am a happy person and like happy people.
When I ran into this picture I felt it was appropriate to share.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My thoughts on The Bachelor: Switzerland

One thing I learned last night watching this episode -
A trip to Switzerland is now on my bucket list. My heart was dropping left and right with just the scenery. Incredible.
Okay so I'm gonna skip right to my thoughts on last nights episode.

Lets start with The Bachelor. I have more to say about Ben than anything really...

- For someone who has been through a lot in his life {loosing this father}
he really doesn't know how to show to much emotion and this aggravates me. A lot.
When they are pouring their hearts out to him he basically just stares in slient.
A long with many other episodes, I have no idea what he is feeling or connections he is
having {besides Courtney}. Basically I feel he's been over this entire thing since Pueto Rico.
- I'm ashamed to admit this but when I wrote my very first post about this season, I was
very excited about Ben. I like him last season with Ashley. I also stood up for this style & this hair when everyone was bashing him- I loved it. Whoa. What happened?
Okay, so when they interview him... it looks as if they've flat ironed the front of his hair.
It wack! What has happened to his easy going style. I thought the tanks were hideous however his textured shirts on textured ties are awful. That greenish bow tie made my tummy sour.
- Don't read me wrong, I love picnics & think they are romantic and a place for good
conversation, however he has a picnic ALL.THE.TIME. I'm pretty sure Courtney is exhausted from all the picnics they've had. Every date.

Okay... how for my feel with this weeks dates.
Ben & Nicki
My perfect date. No sharks. No hanging from a wire. A helicopter through the beautiful country of Switzerland - yes please!!! It was breath taking.  I have really come to like her more & more. Not that I never liked her to begin with, but I think Nicki has an amazing personality. However, on their date, which I thought went well - I realized she did ALL the talking. She was expressing her love for him & hoping for the future and Ben wasn't saying anything at all. I mean, really? If is your third person clearly you have some kind of emotion towards her. He couldn't say anything except. "Thank you." & "My sister & I want to extend the family so it isn't so small - I want four children."
Dear Aaron, if you bring me to this exact place I will never ask for ANYTHING ever again. All of our lifes desicions will be on you and I will do anything you say.  Love, your wife.

Nicki is forced to say goodbye- I was sad for her. I really felt her heart drop. I usually feel bad when the ladies go home {unless they aren't my favorites} however, after the fantasy suite dates, I always feel so sad because... Well, ya know.

 "Well, judging by the dresses, Nicki is going home. Or maybe she got pregnant
on the fantasy date." -Aaron

"What is up with Courtneys hair? It's in a bun?" - Me

Did anyone agree with us?
Lindzi looked amazing. Finally she decided to wear her hair out of her face...
it did very well for her. She looked fabulous. Clearly you can tell she is in love with Ben & the other two are very worried... just look at their facial expressions directed to him.
Courtneys stance at {every} rose ceremony absoutely kills me.

Ben & Lindzi
Why do they keep putting Lindzi in positions
where she is scared to death? Heights - hello! Actually, I found myself looking for pee all over Bens downstairs area when they were finished because he too, was pretty scared.
I love my life - I really do. I can't even explain my anxiety when I looked down that cliff... My heart disappeared.  I had no air. Definitely breath taking... only not in the please take me there again. Hell to NO! All I could think about was that movie "Cliff Hanger". Yikes!
I thought their date was good. Again, a little boring. I mean not really, but what they air is so boring. Of course cliff hanging is very adventureous & both of them were really freaked so I get that there wasn't much to watch as they went down - but even the hot tub moment. Where's the action? I felt Lindzi REALLY opened up and poured her heart out. I was happy to see this. Ben again, no response. All he seems to say {behind the ladies} is - I can see life with her. Okay, so that is big but this is ALL he says... about  every girl. Well... he DID says "I love Lindzi" and I thought that was big. But he in no way showed it
towards her. Right?  I loved her answer to the fantasy suite card.  "I don't usually do this..." I thought it was very classy. However, THIS was steamy...
Hello Ass!
Ohh.. HI Mom & Dad!
Yeeeeeeah... they got straight to the point FAST.

Ben & Courtney
When I first saw Courtney on this episode I thought for the first time, she looked really really stunning. I've never thought she was ugly. But I never saw her as "striking".
I thought their date was very fun!
And Ben loves taking her on picnics! He loves them! I think this is about all he can handle with her because his man down stairs is about to explode. LOL! He would have never made it with Courtney in the hott tub as he did with Lindzi. Am I wrong?
Courtney tried to explain her behavior at the picnic. Ben didn't really want to hear it - however she is really trying to explain because I don't think he gets HOW BAD she has been. Hmmm... I wonder what pushes her to do this? Is she actually in love with Ben? Maybe? Maybe it was a game before & now she's actually feeling something?  Does she feel threatened? A little?
I just know I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall when they watched everything back.
I'd love to know exactly what was said when he questioned her about this.
Overall I thought their date went great. And I do really think he has the most chemistry with her. I really do. However, I am not sold on her. She's different.
Wait, what is this photo of?
One of Ben Flajnik’s Remaining Two Women Wears Her Final Rose Ceremony Dress in Switzerland During The Bachelor Season 16 Finale Filming

Saw this on a spoilers post.
"Courtney Robertson strikes a signature Bachelor finale dramatic pose on a terrace in Switzerland. Either that or she’s watching Ben and Lindzi on their date. (Creepy!)"

Where are her feet? Black dress? Hmmm.. could this be before Ben pops the big question?
has to be - her hair actually looks brushed.
Am I the only one already picturing how Lindzi will react? What she will say?
I'm already so sad for her. Clearly Ben is all bout Courtney.

Okay so...

Kacie B. returns...
She may be young but she isn't scared -
She comes back to NOT beg for him but to warn him & ask a few questions. Kudos to Kacie. I knew I liked you. She asks what happens & Ben replies with
"I don't think I can give you what you needed."
Clearly he is directing things to the hometown date because he has major connection with her. Kacie feels this - She replies "If this is about not living together. YOu have to know I can make my own decisions." - LOVED it. Okay, so I know she is younger than the rest of the girls, but I'm so glad she covered this. If I listened to what my in laws thought we should do - we would've gotten preggers on our honeymoon. Yes, family input are big - or to my at least. However, my heart will deside who is my husband.
Then again, he's crazy about Courtney. This was just a way out.

So then she tells Ben to beware. Yet Ben's man down stairs still has complete control over how he is thinking. Ha! 
 Again, I don't think he understands when Courtney explains "her actions". I love how she throws it at "The way I handled my emotions... This has been very difficult for me." - Pssshhh!  Kacie B. still leaves broken hearted.

However, when tweeting last night - I came across this...
William H  from last season {Ashley H.} tweeted this picture &
said "look it's @Ryan_M_Park and Kacie B. They would def make a great couple"
Hmmm.. has Kacie already ventured out? You go girl!!!
Don't remember Ryan? Com'on - even my husband did.
Well.. he rememeber what he did for a living. Apparently he makes a lotta doe.
"Yeah, he runs solar electric power plants, he's loaded." -Aaron
And those are my thoughts of last nights episode.
{As usual, I am not proof reading this. Forgive me for my errors. Don't judge}
The End.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

My thoughts on The Bachelor

Okay, so usually I write a weekly post about my thoughts on The Bachelor/ette.
I haven't this year. Hmmmm...
I've had a few friends in the blog world ask me if I planned on sharing my thoughts
on how this year is .... rolling. Well, here I am.

Yes. I am still watching.
Yes. I still love watching.
Yes, I wait ALL day Monday with excitement to watch a new episode.
Yes. I will admit that you all were right. Ben is absolutely boring.
Wow. Whoa. Man. What a boring way to get to know someone.
However, I still love watching. My hubby & I are troopers!

Okay... so let's play catch up.
Random thoughts over the past few weeks....

On the skinny dipping episode:
I feel Ben pretty much picked his girl that night.
When choosing to skinny dip with ... what 12? 10? other girls
there trying to find love through YOU... and you chose to get naked with another
naked lady? Yeeeeah. Let's just say if I were any of them except Courtney and he chose me...
I'd be betrayed and my perspective would definitely change.
Ben stated once, he was threw with his partying days...
Yeah well I don't think his "princess sophia" really is.
He thinks when head #2 to much & to early.

I thought this was fun.
KUDOS for her coming back on the show for him. Awesome.
Instantly I think Ben liked her arrival.
And thinking back, I think she is the PERFECT person for Ben.
Boring. Talk slow. Lives in California.
The ONLY girl to really step on Courtney worry bone. I believe Shawntel would have stayed
if Courtney didn't say what she said to him when given a rose.
This is when I knew Ben had no balls & Courtney was his girl.

I didn't see this ending the way it did.
I feel Ben is a smart guy but he has fooled me.
I 100% believe he lets Princess Sophia do some choice makings however he did fool
 me on this date. I aint gonna lie, the little book Blakeley made for him was pretty great.
I thought that won him over... And it didn't. Soo... I can't follow him.
I had good feeling about this conversation...
I thought this was the end of Nicki - since she really told Ben to be careful of Courtney -  I also thought Ben would be a little more ... cautious with Courtney.
His {Are you nice to girls} conversation was pretty much pointless. Oh wait.. we are talking about Ben. I forgot he pretty much gave up on all the girls in Pueto Rico when he got naked.
This girl, Casey - Whoa...
always seemed odd to me. I told my husband if I ever look like that while crying...
call me out on it. Whoa. That was painful to watch. In a non-painful way.
Wait.. what exactly is she crying so hard over?
She isn't in love with her EX. She isn't in love with Ben.
But she loves Courtney...? Very odd.

Once upon a time...
I said I loved the way Ben dressed...

... wait, what is this?
No way. My face turned red for him. Yikes!

Okay, so really? Swimming with sharks.
This was probably one of Bens interesting & most adventurous date.
All of his "date choices" have been boring - more surreal, yes.. but boring.
However, when the girls had to swim with sharks... I'd shiiii my bottoms.
I'd be going home with the word SWIM WITH. Not a huge fan.

Ohhh Jamie. I know what you were trying to do...
I get it... but you made things totally awkward for everyone in America.

Poor thing. I know she had to want to change her entire look
after that airing on national television.

OKay, so I loved Emily. I really did. I thought she was great.
However, I knew she was not going to make it to the final {proposal} and that
I am happy she didn't. I thought their date, swimming for lobsters went really well.
I was happy for her. I was completely 110% blown when Emily didn't get a rose.
I for sure thought, Nicki was leaving us.
Emily will find love & I hope she is on the front cover on US WEEKLY when she does.
Why? Because I know the article inside will share the amazing rap she did to capture his heart. Girl has the rapping going on....
Cheers to Emily on finding love.
Nicki - I like her. However, after last weeks {hometown date} I began to like her so much more. I really did. I loved her dad more. Daddy had be in absolute tears when he confessed his feelings about being responsible for her divorce, or the way things ended in her first marriage. Daddy got my vote. I also loved how her parents were divorced yet still there for their daughter. Good family back ground.
Dad also made a really fun speech at the end of dinner in which I noticed
Nicki's brother and Ben had the same look on their faces - awkward. Ben describes his feelings for Nicki were from the "gut". Whoa, really? What happened to your heart?
Yeah, okay so he likes her. But Nicki isn't the one.
However, I truly believe she'd be bored to DEATH spending a lifetime with him.
She's to bubbly and happy for him.
Cheers to Nicki for finding love!
 Kacie B. - Poor baby was in love. Did anyone else feel as bad as I did for her
throughout ALL of last weeks show? Her {hometown} date. Awkward as you can get.
I'm not sure what was more awkward - This hometown date or Jamie's
wanna-be make out sessions. Okay you're right. Jamie wins. 
Was it this moment that he know Kacie B. was going home?
Ben seems completely scared when Kacie stated "My parents don't drink."
Ouch! Really?
To the house they go...
I admire Daddy's for the huge amount of protection towards their daughters. Actually, I was telling my husband I hope he is that gentle with {giving a hand in marriage} to our daughter. I loved it. However, I also felt so bad for her because it got her no where. Oh wait, it got her in the back seat of a limo. I wonder how Daddy took her foul language.
Okay and Momma. She was Kacie B. all over. Wow. She looked just like her.
But momma didn't lay low either. Momma stated they would NOT live together before getting married... and that did it. Ben & Kacie B.'s connection shot out the window.
I DO credit Ben for always being the one to make his decisions. He is pretty head strong & thinks for himself.
However, I also credit Kacie's parents, for at those moments she was really hating the way they came across to Ben - she will thank them in the future.
I like Kacie B. & know that the skinny dipping would have
totally changed her mind. I know it. Sooo....
Cheers to Kacie B. on finding true love.

And then you have MY first impression vote....
Lindzi - I like her. I really do. But I really don't see much happening between
Ben & her. I think they are on a much slower level only because she isn't as aggressive.
I really liked her {hometown} date & I thought her parents were totally cool.
 I felt they were very welcoming & open arms to Ben.
Wait.. until this moment -
Really? That's kind weird, right?
I think Lindzi definitely walks better in cowgirl boots rather than heals. So when she stated a while back that "dirt is her makeup", I kind of believe it now.
I wouldn't want these two together because in my opinion with someone as
settle & calm as Lindzi is, I feel she needs someone to open her up. That will come natural with her {Mr. Right}. She still isn't completely comfortable around him.
Just my opinion. Maybe she is & that's just her.
I feel Lindzi will be sent him. Sooo...
Cheers to her for

Okay.. and now the one who makes this season interesting.
Courtney - Yeah, you guessed it. The girls crawls under my skin like you know what.
Before I really give my piece of mind, let me say a few things. Her mouth movements! All season I've been bothered by this. For a model, she seems homely.
Yeah, she's pretty but her walk is not graceful. Her stand {at the rose ceremony} makes my tummy turn over. She stands in a mini dress, in heels... with her legs WIDE open. Oh wait, we are talking about Courtney.
Okay... so homegirl has it going on. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing and how to play this game. Clearly, the show isn't aired as a game - but she definteily know how to reel Ben in.
That one time when she said "I've got to go get the rose" and then played as if she was feeling distant from Ben - of course be was confused, however he got sucked right in. UGH!
"WINNING" - drives me crazy. Just curious to know how she explains that to her future hubby when he watches this back. Awful!
Courtney is EXTREMELY insecure. This photo/caption below is totally correct.
However NOW she is gonna try and staryt explaining her mean words and actions to Ben...

Hometown date: I actually liked it. I thought she was really enjoyable and now can see where
Ben is getting this "sensitive side". Do I REEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLLY believe it? No.
I feel that they will make it - when the world revolves around just the two fo them... however after the show... life goes on and it won't. She says she doesn't get along with girls... the two closest people in Ben's life is his sister and MOm. Hmmmm?????

Mom. Yes! Now I can see where Courtney gets her facial expressions.
I mean I look just like my mom & I do a lot of things like her - but this was so {right-on} that
it creeped me out.
I really did like her date set up for Ben. I think Ben was a little creeped out about it.
Not me, because I'm that sensitive / love movie kinda girl
Their vows. Yeah, that said it all. The show really doesn't need to go any further after hearing
what Ben wrote in 10 minutes to Courtney. It was sweet.
Did anyone see the extra paper she had what she was "writing her vows". Yeah, because clearly she wrote them a head of time. Which is okay, but she pretended to not.
I thought they were really good... and then later read where it quotes Carrie Bradshaw.
Where's Emily when you need her???

So .. Courtney actually got some points from me on her hometown date...

The Rose Ceremony...


... she hasn't changed. She is STILL very evil.
Ugh! Who really doesn't console someone? She is just wrong.


Emily Maynard the next Bachelorette.
My thoughts: Hmmm... they are mixed.
I pulled for her. I backed her up & thought she wasn't  gonna flee when reality hit.
Soooo.. do you think they will have Bentley on there? Hmmmm.....
Let's just hope she drag it out. I sure hope it's more entertaining than this year.
However, I'm very much looking forward to her outfits. She's got MADD style.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

inside a relationship: take two

I would like to start off by expressing my love & gratitude
for all your sweet comments on my {inside a relationship} post a few days ago. I was so happy to see my words help you feel loved & supported.
Please know that is was my friends words who did the same thing to me
2.5 years ago. I hope you all open up & except yourself as a struggling wife or a learning wife. It's okay. Struggling may be considered stormy, but it's the rough patches that bring us to bigger better places. I've learned that. As long as you're willing to get to the bottom of it and make a difference - I believe you can overcome anything.

I wish you all can understand how much a a roller coaster ride my 11 years with Aaron has been. The best way I can get you to understand our {once upon a time} struggles is watch the movie, {The Break-Up}. When that came out, we had just gotten back together - went to see it & I'd say it was awkward for us. We were them {minus the comedy}. I can bet more than half my town {which is super small} never saw us getting married. So if you feel at the bottom of your unwinding relationship,
pick up {The Best Thing I Ever Did For My Marriage} and/OR
{Love & Respect} and read it.

You can thank me later.
Moving along....

I've been following Kelly from Kellys Korner for a while now.
Sadly, I haven't ever been a true follower. Until today. I saw her blog from another blog discussing what they were giving up for LENT.
On her header at the top of the page, I saw {Show Us Your Life}. I clicked & saw a listing of all things she discusses on Fridays through this link-up. Of course, my first eye catcher was {Marriage Advice}.

When I first started to read her marriage advice, I felt silly. Super silly.
Why? Because the first thing she stated was this...

"I have been married almost 8 years but I have to say - I don't like giving advice because I don't feel like I have it all figured out myself. I will share a few things I have learned."

Here I am, or there I was just a few days ago giving my advice
& I've only been married for shy of 6 months.
I immediately wanted to express myself & stress to everyone who read my post that day & the days to follow just how much I don't know about marriage. Clearly I have a long way to go. So, before I go any further I want to clarify my words & base them on any relationship between a man & a woman who are married or maybe see themselves being married somewhere in your future. I did state that I was writing what I thought helped a marriage OR possible marriage one day - but I wanted to make it understood.
Clearly I haven't learned or developed my thoughts based on just shy of six months.

I want you all to understand that my amazing friend Rachel came to me the December {2009} before getting engaged with the book that changed me -
the book that I believe was the best thing I ever did for myself and my relationship with Aaron. We were not even engaged yet & at a good place. But education and maybe a different way of seeing things is never a bad thing to look into. It wasn't until a whole year later we got engaged. And I truley believe our relationship grew stronger that year {2010} by my changes & realization on certain things. He never knew what was in that book.
So please understand, I clearly am not saying this is the way to go. But I do encourage it. THESE reasons are the {must haves} to a strong marriage/relationship {my opinion}. They are what I believe in. They are what I've learned in two years of studying how to be the wife God intended me to be. They've brought me to a much happier place.

I struggle of course. Everyday, all the time.
But I know we are solid. When I get weak and see these things lacking, I pick the
book back up and start reading. Reminding myself & encouraging myself.

So enough of that.
Back to {inside a relationship. take two}.

I think I've mentioned before that I am in a book study every Tuesday night
with a few friends of mine. We are studying "The Politically Incorrect Wife."
Great book & it's recommended.

Yesterday, I read chapter 8 and it covered how your husband is put first.
Over your parents, your friends, hobbies{blog} & even your children.
It totally touched me in so many ways.  I went over how the author once asked her husband "If you could change one thing about me, what would you change."
Instantly he replied, "I would change your mothering habits."
Wow! That hit home. If you were to ask me if I thought I "mothered" Aaron.
I would have said "No! No way." - however when it gave me examples -
It put me in my spot immediately.
It states {be your husbands wife. he already has a mother.}
Just think about it. Your husband or lover is your greatest friend, do your friends outside of your relationship with your lover "mother' you? Probably not.
Basically, if he wants to wear a certain thing. {me!} Let him. He is a big boy.  Don't remind him of his beer belly. Don't nag at him for leaving the clothes on the floor or the wet towels on the floor {me!} Don't treat him like a child. Respect him as your husband &
let him make his choices. He is the leader of your household.

This is something I am now working on. When I came home from study, I planned to ask Aaron that same question. However, he was exhausted from work and not really in his peppy mood. I decided to save it for later - a better time when I'd get the true answer.
I'd love for you to ask your men this & comment back with what he says.

Back to today / Running into Kellys blog.

I ran into her blog after commenting on Aly's post on participating in LENT.
I hopped over to her blog & she shared pretty much the same thing I shared with Aly.
I thought it was ironic.

{Is this GOD speaking to me?}

Okay, {getting off track here, sorry.} so she shared this link-up back on June 22, 2011.
I went back and read most every ones advice. I copied their addresses down linking to their advice and plan to share some of them next Tuesday at book study.
I also want to share them with you.

My advice topics were:
Love & Respect.
Respect your husband

Never stop dating.
Date Nights

with Family
HOW you come across/tone of voice

Desire your husband always

Your appearance

to read everything written out, go here.

Be sure to read Kellys advice. I knew I was drawn to this blog for a reason
because she started out with {Love & Respect} quoting the same
verses from the bible as I was sharing the other day. God is good!

Meet Whitney. {Married for 2.5 years} Another {Love & Respect} + some advice. Instantly felt connected to this post. I love how she urges couples to {argue} & to do things separately.

Kristen said two things that really struck my heart.
She mentions something her MIL taught her & something I've heard before but never paid attention to. She mentions how {women set the tones for their home}. LOVED that.
She also states at the very end {separate rooms for TV watching} - This is a rule in our home. No TV in our bedroom. Never. Think about it.

Kat wrote something that totally struck me.
She discussed how it was importany to keep your love private. Something
I'm very guilty of... only NOT keeping it private.

THIS newly wed made me feel sane, however she discuss the importance
of {getting intimate} in a marriage. I believe sex is very important.
Very important. Extremely.

I really loved Andreas advice on how important it is to be teammates.
It's a must read.

Remember how I ended my first post talking about how much
work a relationship really is. Well, Taylin shared advice that was
given to her by her parents. It's very short & sweet but I felt drawn to her dad's advice
because with mine and Aaron's worst {lowest} point in our relationship, I realized how much work is put into it. I felt if her Dad was in front of me when reading that, I would have hugged him very tight. I even gave her a shout out to give to him.

Lori gives a handful of advice but very much heart felt.
I love how she discusses how {Love is not a fairytale}. I agree with her however
I do believe in fairytale. I just believe everyone love story {& if you're married you have one} has their own fairytale. But yes, I do agree with what she says.

Courtney has a guest blogger that she linked-up. Starts with discussing the book {The Language of Love & Respect} but also  covers how you can get in a icky spot if you are one to read romance novels. Good story.

Ohhh there is SO many. I'm getting something from ALL of them.
I have several more I'd love to point out, but I'd be here all day with 132 {Marriage Advice} post.  Go back to Kellys Korner and find this post under her headline pages -so worth it. I'm still reading of them as I'm typing this post.

But before I wrap it up. I want you to visit Hannah.
Hannah didn't give advice. However she
shared a questionnaire that I plan to do with Aaron sometime this week.
It's really great.

And last but not least.
This is probably my newest favorite blog/website. I'll be here for some time, I know it.  Meet Courtney from WomanLivingWell.Org.
Wow. I'm overwhelmed with excitement. Read it. Mark it. Add it to your favorites.
Make sure to watch all of her sidebar videos - and don't miss out on the first video
where is visits The Rachel Ray show. Amazing!

She also provides a wonderful {FREE} printable
on Love & Respect here.
It's amazing & I'm started TODAY.


Last thing I promise.
Kat {mentioned up there} also shared an Emily Post Etitquette.I'm a die hard fan of Emily Post. But this was soemthing I really enjoyed reading.

How many times has one heard some one say: “I won’t dress for dinner—no one is coming in.” Or, “That old dress will do!” Old clothes! No manners! And what is the result? One wife more wonders why her husband neglects her! Curious how the habit of careless manners and the habit of old clothes go together. If you doubt it, put the question to yourself: “Who could possibly have the manners of a queen in a gray flannel wrapper? And how many women really lovely and good—especially good—commit esthetic suicide by letting themselves slide down to where they “feel natural” in an old gray flannel wrapper, not only actually but mentally. The woman of charm in “company” is the woman of fastidiousness at home; she who dresses for her children and “prinks” for her husband’s home-coming, is sure to greet them with greater charm than she who thinks whatever she happens to have on is “good enough.” Any old thing good enough for those she loves most! Think of it!

why {Your Appearance} is important.
I absoutlely L.O.V.E.D this. Everything about it. It falls under my examples of

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

got my hair did.

Remember last Thursday I had the day off & spent my time with
bleach. I'm happy to share my house is STILL smelling cleaning & even with the weekend... it still looks clean. Everyone is welcomed over.

Ha! No really. I did bleach my house but I also got my hair did.
Everyone asked for a "picture".
Now, I know I've shared my {Once upon a time I was a hair stylist} a few times
but I will tell you that I've never been bold or brave. I've cut my hair off many of times
but when it comes to color... I've always been a super chicken.
I definitely believe that skin tone & hair color choice is always something to make sure
work well together. Being I am a natural red head, I have super white skin.

I've died it brown - cried my eyes out.
I've died it red - {trying} to get it back my natural color... didn't like it.
Blond has always seemed to be my comfort zone.

I will say that I do like to play with the different shades of blond.
Thursday, I didn't really make to many changes.
I really REALLY really
wanted to go Lindzi's hair color {Lindzi off of The Bachelor}. Like REALLY bad.
I love her hair color. It's great. However, I'm super-dee-doper white.
My skin has no color whatsoever & to go her color...
I know myself & I'd freak out. It would appear darker than it was.
Therefore I just went with a lighter shade & low lights.

So this is me before getting my hair done.
It's been like this for almost a year now.
Pretty blond.

And this {below} is what I really wanted but was to much of a chicken
to change that much. Maybe with time.

& this is me now...

Not much difference, right?
Still a blond fo sho!
Ha! I told ya!

Best thing about getting my hair done was getting a hair cut.
Whoa! I needed it more than desperately. Seriously, it's been about a year since I've gotten a G.O.O.D cut. My bestie {& hair stylist} Rachel, agreed.
It was bad. We cut about two inches off the ends & layers.
It does have low lights in it & I really do love it.
But until I get some sun on my skin I can't really go darker.
I will seriously freak out.

Writing this post makes me fantasize on how amazing
a hair/head wash is by someone else... who really can wash good.
Ohhh, it's one of my favorite things in the world.
Yes... I am that creepy person whose eyes rolls back in their head & they say
"Ohhhh my... this is amazing" - making the hair stylist completely uncomfortable & want to quit. Thank god she is my friend. 

The lady in the picture with me is a bestie of mine.
She blogs too, however she has a classroom blog. For my teacher bloggers,
you should definitely check Kristie out. I really enjoy reading her classroom blog.


If you love me you will spread the word! :) 

Monday, February 20, 2012

inside a relationship.

"Couples that play together, Stay together."

Saw this quote today & it drew me into writing this post.
I really loved it.

I've been wanting to write about my thoughts on relationships {between lovers}
for some time now. I'm not a therapist nor is my relationship perfect.
Far from it. However, I will admit that mine & my husbands relationship from day one
has been one heck of  a ride. Gosh, to try to describe our highs & lows in words is very tough. Very tough but today it's stronger than ever.
And it is NOT because I am a newly wed.

 Not everybody or every relationship is always {Peaches N Cream} all the time.
But what makes a relationship last?
What keeps the spark flaring?
 What is it a couple has to do to stay in touch and
hold a close bond?

I have a few theories based on my own experiences.
I do not think two people have to have the same interests nor do they have to be
just a like to make it.

Of course in the beginning you are attracted to the same thing. "I'm up for anything" is said a lot & as long as you're together doing whatever is okay.
But most of the time it's all an act. It's the eye catcher.

My Bachelor fans, do you really think Ben is going to find his wife based on her swimming with sharks? Ummm.. no.
Or being able to face anything together because Linzi jumped out of a helicopter with him... facing her fears? No. She wanted a rose.

 I love Aaron very very much.
I still to this day would not swim with sharks for him. Never. I could barely swim with stingrays. Oh yeah. How could I forget. I removed myself from that adventure due to not being able to follow directions by keeping my feet planted in the sand. Instead, you found me in the fetal positions pressed against someone {anyones} back or front side... screaming like a child swimming from these monstrous creatures so kindly would swim directly at you and then rub their disgusting ... skin? flesh? whatever it is on your body.
so not me. but totally aaron. He was on top of the world.
Did I mention this 1.5 hours off the Cayman Island. This was not in a "trained tank".
These monstrous creatures were wild. Not my cup of tea.

Back on track. Sorry.

You do things in the beginning that your love interest wants you to do because you have a major crush on that person. But that does NOT define a relationship.
Pretending to be someone or loving something that you really don't is NOT how it works.
It causes major issues later down the road.

  I used to LOVE to fish. {hated it.}
Now, it's more of  "Okay, have a wonderful weekend with the guys babe. Catch a bigg'en!"
While I stay back on the fishing trip and do my own thing.
I'm totally okay with that. And he is too because if I were there...
He & I both would be miserable.

First, I want to share the best thing I ever did for my relationship.
I owe so much to a very close friend of mine, a best friend for sharing this with me
back in late 2009. Aaron and I just had a good year but not a solid year.
It was on it's way to a very strong relationship between the two to of us.

Why? Because I read this book.
I listened to these words and short {real life} stories and brought them
into my lifestyle.

"The Best Thing I Ever Did For My Marriage."
Nancy Cobb

If you are interested, which I HIGHLY recommend every woman who is
married or with someone they can see themselves with for a lifetime to purchase & read this book. You can get it here.

{stay on track}


I'm going to share some of the things I believe keep
a relationship healthy - which means happy.
Really happy.



is a {must have} in your relationship.

The book {Love & Respect} was read last year.
Basically the main thing I learned from this book was

Men = Respect
Woman = Love

Of course we both want respect as well as we want love but here is the key.

If a woman doesn't give her man Respect, he will shun her from love.
Once that happens, the woman no longer gives respect waiting for her man to show her love. 

And its goes around and around in a circle and before you know it...
you have a big argument. you have stubbornness. you are in a fight.
Until someone jumps out? Yep! This happens to everyone under many different circumstances.

A lot of us live by "Well, if he did this.... I'd do this more."
Or "Maybe if he thanked me & appreciated me more, I'd ____."

Yeah, well maybe if us women, as a wife would _______ he'd be more lovable {appreciative}.
Right? And it goes round and round. It's a circle.

I ask you to please read this story to understand the Circe of Love & Respect
fully based on His & Her Needs. It's truly inspiring but AFTER you read the rest of
what I have to say.

here we go.


"Never stop dating your husband
And never forget to flirt with your wife."
This saying, this quote is hanging up in our living room &
something we plan to always focus on.

Date nights.

 I believe they are very important.
Cell phones off. No work.
Just the two of you & laughter.
Laughter makes memories. Memories make butterflies.

The friendship you have with your partner, your lover
is very very very important. It needs to be solid.

Whether is at home or a night out on the town.
Whether you have kids or you don't.
There should be NO excuses like... "no money".

At Home Dates:

 Play cards or a board game. Sounds cheesy but it brings back the days when you first started dating. It brings conversation. {very important}

Cuddle on the couch & watch a movie.
Remember NO house work, NO phones, NO children.
Pop some popcorn. Buy candy bars.
Make it out of the ordinary.

Cook a dinner & add candles to the table.
Bring out your wine glasses and beer mugs.
Make a menu for him to read. Sounds cheesy, but it'll feel different than your regular night supper.

There is SO much you can do.
Remember, a date doesn't have to be just dinner & a movie.
It can be as simple as a walk around the neighborhood.
Anything that you don't do on a normal bases, can be a date.
It doesn't have to be hours and hours either.

Use you imagination.



 PART 1.

I believe having dinner at the table {as a family} is very important.
No TV. No phones. Just you and your family.
It may only be 15  minutes but it's 15 minutes spent together
with conversation.

It also helps you stay connected.

No. We don't have kids however Aaron and I do sit together at our dinner table.
Sure... sometimes we don't & get lazy or in a hurry to miss a show.
But 95% of the time we sit and eat and talk.

Conversation PART 2

Wow. This was mine & Aaron's biggest battle to overcome.
He isn't an argue-er. He's one who shows emotion in silence. I am opposite.
I wear it on my shoulders. I must discuss it & must discuss it.

The two don't mesh well.
You have to talk about what is going on. What made you upset.
What you did or didn't like. What made you happy.

I used to freak out and use my outside voice when he
made my blood rush all over my body because of something I didn't like.
Yeah well, that got me no where. He'd walk away. I'd follow. He'd then completely
ignore me. I'd get louder. Now the situation is out of control & ANYTHING you tell him
he is not hearing or listening... or gives a damn. You are disrespecting him.

How we got over this: Aaron learned to treat me like a child, in which I needed.
{at the time if you told me this, Ohhhhh buddy...}
Aaron would say,
"Until you can talk to me about it without raising your voice, I'm not going to talk to you."

Ohhh yes, it pissed me off. However, he wouldn't.
I had to learn to grasp control over my temper/mood/blood pressure.

When ANYONE is in this rage, they say & do things they regret later.

I've come a L.O.N.G way. I've learned to breath & walk away from him to give myself enough time to gather my thoughts & go back and talk to him.
Aaron still to this day struggles with confrontation. He hates it. He runs front it.
But it is a must. He's learned that until I talk about what it is that bothered me to him..
and until he gives me the "I'm trying to understand" that I am looking for... it's settled.
There is no pretending either just to shut me up. It's taken a long time.
It's a fine line called {respecting each other} that has to be defined.

Do you see the LOVE & RESPECT circle?
I talk to him like a human & my lover {respect}
He listens and tries to comprehend what's happened. {love}

Read the book. It will give you views in SO many directions you'll want to come to Georgia and put your arms around me and tell me you love me. But first, read "The Best Thing I Ever Did For My Marriage."

It's how you come across to him.
Go back up to Love & Respect and if you follow through with the circle
of giving and receiving... communication comes much smoother.

Something Aaron's grandmother wrote me in an "Advice Card" at one
of my showers was

"Never get mad at your husband in front of anyone. Don't talk bad about him to anyone & never point out his faults in front of anyone. This way he always knows you are behind him & have his back at all times. Make sure he visits his grandmother very often."

His grandmother has been with him grandfather since they were 17 years old.
Married for 53 years.

This REALLY stuck with me. Matter of fact, it's the only thing I can remember out of
all the different cards besides "never go to bed angry."
I never realized how many times I point him out in front of people or
bust him out for things he did or didn't do. I may be joking, but really I'm not. But I am.
I did this a lot. I still have to watch myself. But it's so true.
When I try to understand his decisions rather than judge them,
I get a husband who then turns and wants my point of view or whatever the situation may be.

Always desire your husband.

As much as we need to be desired, they do too.
Kiss him when he walks in the door. Wink at him in a room full of people.
Smile just because.
Let him know you are totally into him without saying it.
Or say it.

{Actions speak louder}


Look good for your lover.

This is something I believe in quite a bit.
I absolutely love comfy clothes. My husband despises me wearing sweat pants.
This bothered me for a long time but it made sense after time.
Clearly my husband doesn't like the "baggy" look. He's more of a fitted type.. on me that is.
Aaron is NOT the type to say, I like that outfit or No maybe you should wear this?
Or notice my new hair or those shoes look better. Remember, he is a T-shirt & jeans... very simple kind of guy. However, when he does voice his opinion about a look, I know he really believes it. Okay, so back to sweat pants. He really doesn't like me wearing them.
Would you believe me when I tell you that he will rip them off of me. Seriously.
No in any hostile manner. It's mainly to make a point.

I work 8 hours a day with a 35 minutes drive to work to & from.
I am with him from around 6:45pm to 6:15am on the week days and
weekends... pretty much always.
I put make up on to present myself at work. My hair is in place &
my clothes are matching/ironed/cute/etc.
I make sure I look good for my clients & everyone around me...
why wouldn't I try to look presentable at home too? That's when he sees me.

When I get home, I change into something like Yoga pants or shorts or cute pj's. I remove my make up & throw my hair up. Sometimes it's down. If I feel yucky or unattractive.. I may let it slide. But I do stay clear away from the sweats.

What I'm saying is physical appearance is important.
If I want to wear a t-shirt.. I'm make sure my bottoms are cute & fitted.
If I don't feel in the "fitted pants" mood, I don't wear them but Iwill wear a tank top or something like that. Something fitted up top.

He is what I should be striving to look good for.
You can have no make up on and still look presentable.
Yeah sure, your husband loves you for you. However, he loves a good look.
That's what caught his eye in the first place, right? 

Take a look.
Which of these people would you say your man would
prefer or not prefer.

Both examples are the same person.
You pick.

Here is an example of NOT WEARING MAKE UP
and still looking presentable.
You pick.

You tell me.
Same person. Beautiful person at that.
And those my friends are my main points of keeping a relationship alive.
Of course there will be low moments & in-a-rut moments that come along but for the most part if you strive for these things. Your smile will out shine anything else around you.

So, what are your {relationship must-haves}?
Do share! please!
I love reading and hearing other relationships & well as working on my own.

Oh and last thing...

Many many times when Aaron and I would be ... broken up
or struggling, I heard
"Relationships should not be this much work, Jessica."

I totally disagree. A relationship with anyone is work.
Let alone your lover, your husband, or your wife.
It's work every day. But it's a fun work if you choose to make it that way.
And it pays off better than any dollar amount paycheck.

The End.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Dear Readers,

is exactly what today feels like to me.
It's Friday but...
Yesterday, I had the day off.
So... to come back today kind of blows.
I spent the day with bleach.

1} bleach with my house {Oh it needed it badly}
2} with my hair {Oh it needed it badly}

I know it's the {in thing} to have the top of your hair darker
and the ends lighter.. whatever it is called but it just doesn't work so good for me.
Best part about it. I got a hair cut. It's be {a YEAR} since I got a good hair cut.
I feel like a new woman.

Ahh. CraZy AmaZing.

Speaking of CraZy AmaZing...
Thank you ALL for your ever so love & feed back on the new title for my blog.
Wow! I didn't realize {Stilettos & a fishing pole} was that well liked.
I'm still undecided however I'm may or may not be leaning towards sticking with
my same ol' same ol' blog title.
I mean it IS who we are whether or not we did get hitched.

moving along.
basically this post is about you laughing your ace off
just as I did last night as my husband was watching these men
"noodle" for catfish.


Don't know what "noodling" is?

 Google it. Or don't.
It's hideous.

Moving along.

Before we go any further. If foul language is something you
are not a fan of or are easily offended by...
you may have to leave now.

Have fun!

I'd be lying if I say this almost made me wet myself.
I've have this happen to me so I know how annoyingly funny it is.

Went from almost wetting myself to...
running to the bathroom.

Dad. I'm not sure there is anything in this world you
can buy me to recover from this.

Clean fun.
Something I would defintitely fall into.

What a waste of the moment every girl dreams of.
There just is no recovering for MOm.

That's a {dammit} moment.

Another no recovering.
Did you actually picture this happening and the look on a chicks face?
I did. Not good but hilarious.

Have a wonderful weekend friends! :)