Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Life AFTER the wedding: Q's & A's

With only 10 days left, I'm so over wedding planning. I'm stress free & feel very relaxed. Tired but that comes with it. Aaron and I are both completely ready & more ready for the celebration between our marriage with our friends & family. We are worn out & ready for normal life to take place again. Speaking of normal life? What is it?
 Most everyone I've ever talked to whether it be someone close or not
the answer to the number 1 question after the wedding is, "So, how's married life?". The answer is usually "It feels the same. Just a different name." Unless of course you did not live together prior to. Then things are more than likely different.

I believe nothing will change for Aaron and I because we have lived together for a while and already have experienced the trying times & adjustments. However, there are things I want to improve as a wife for not only him but for myself too. I have been asked various questions here lately so I'm gonna throw them out there and share my answers.

Do you & Aaron plan on having joint bank accounts?
This is a funny question. As of right now, we both have our personal accounts & then
we share one joint account. I have always assumed when we got married we would cancel out personal accounts and keep just one. However, during the counseling with our preacher
one of the topics were finances. He asked how we handled our finances and if there ever were issues. Aaron and I both looked at each other and agreed that money or any kind of finances were ever a problem. Therefore, after the session we discussed how we would work our finances. Again, I assumed one account because that is what married people do. He disagreed.
I was a little confused because I felt as if I was pushed back a little. But he made sense.
Our preacher stated that finance & money situations are the #1 reason for fights & divorce. Being we have never had a fight about money I thought we'd be fine. Well Aaron's point is quote "Why would we change it up? I keep nothing from you & you keep nothing from me. If I purchase something, you see it. We've never had a fight about finances so why would we do something different especially being it's the #1 cause of divorce? You have my passwords & I know yours so there is nothing weird about it" It still took me time to completely be okay with it. but yes, he is completely right. ONE- Aaron is the leader of the household. I want both of us to always make decisions together but him being the final say so. TWO- he made all the sense in the world. Even if "that's what married couples do", why would be change anything because we've never had an issue before. '
{What works for you in your relationship?}

Babies... soon?
This is a fun question. Back in January, Aaron informed me he was ready to be a daddy after the wedding. {Remember THIS post} Well.... a lot has happened since then. To be honest, at first I was just not on the same level. Then once we really discussed our five year plan things changed a little. We actually talked it up to after the wedding we'd let God take control. Then the topic of lifestyle with children came up.  Aaron and I both agreed it would be best if I stayed at home. My job now leaves me coming home at 6:30. By the time I do dinner {which Aaron helps often} our children will be ready for bed. That leaves me no time with them. We figured out our finances and being we are ALMOST  debt free {not yet} we would not be able to afford it. So we pushed children back until early next year. I'm not done. A few months ago, Aaron and I were settling down to watch a movie one night and we were cutting up, laughing hysterically, picking with each other over this blanket. It sounds lame but it was great. Almost as if we were teenagers in high school again. We laughed for hours. The next day that's all I could think about. So at dinner I brought up children. We both agreed that life moves so fast. This year has flown by like crazy.  We've been together for almost 11 years and in those 11 years we've had LOTS growing stages & priority changes; working through them was tough at times. Life now... we are in hog heaven. We are enjoying the nights with each other & our alone time so much more than ever before. Our relationship feels very strong... one more year wouldn't hurt to wait for kids because when they come {life will be amazing} we won't be able to play fight over a blanket or better yet have alone time on the couch enjoying a TV time. It will be kids kids kids and that's okay but we agreed that we want to enjoy our high point as much as possible before it's taken away.  So, 2013 is our year {unless the Lord thinks different} to start trying for little ones.
2012 is for us. I can't wait.

What do you plan on changing anything after the wedding?
Here is where my hope to be the best wife takes place. I don't want much to change between the two of us. As I explained in the question before, things are really great. But there are things or changes I long for. I want to start getting up with him. Every night before bed I set the alarm for 5:45am in order for him to leave by 6:15am. I lay his uniform out and make sure he is all prepared for the next work day. On the days when he wakes up late {not very often}, I too jump up and head for the deodorant & get his tooth brush ready & make sure his boots are ready for his feet... I then go back to bed. I get up at 6:30am. That isn't very long after he leaves.
What I want is for the both of us to get up together {ME} and I'm not much of a breakfast chef
but have coffee together or maybe a bowl of cereal. I think breakfast is a very important time of the day because it the start. This is defintely something I want to do differently & work on.
This is my plan.
Also, start making weekly dinner menus. I lived by this before our engagement... planning had taken a toll on our life so I will be back to this also. We've had enough pizza delievery nights.
I will be using this to help organize my meal plan & grocery shopping trips.

{ONE week from today is the first day of our wedding weekend! Boy Oh boy... I can't wait}

Wedding Planning...

I'm so over it! I made my last 'list of things to do' and there are quite a few, mainly smaller things. I just can't get motivated. I'm just ready for the day to come. I feel very relaxed & I'm actually sleeping. That's a BIG improvement.

Here are a few things I still have to do:

* Make my Reception sign
* Wrap up my Out of Town Guest bags
& Hotel bags
* A few touch ups on come boutonnieres
* Pick my dress {Tomorrow}
* Meet with our DJ {next week}
* Boudoir Photo shoot {yes, I'm doing these}
* Labels for the girls jewelry {making them to fit our wedding look}
* a gift for our wedding director
 * Send thank you cards to the ladies for the bachelorette party
* Meet with our preacher to discuss how everything will go
* Manicure / Pedicure {Next week with the ladies}
*Lingerie Shower {Saturday}
* Pack Honeymoon Bag
*Pack Wedding Day Bag
* Pack 'day of rehearsal' items
*Pick up Tux {Next Week}
* Get Hair done
*Finish my Table Numbers.
*Finish my letters to each of my bridesmaids.
* Oh I FINALLY am set & stone on my hairstyle for the wedding.
definitely the hardest decision YET!
it's by far horrific!

{children would be defined as Aaron and myself}

I think that's about it!

Happy Wednesday!!!


Marcy XOXO said...

I am so beyond excited for you I can barely keep my composure =) You are going to be the BEST wife and what an exciting time! Even though we both have a child between the two of us we also agree that we enjoy that alone time, too! We are also thinking Baby B will happen sometime in 2013 as well!!!! Yay

Amanda @ New Adventures said...

I love this. You and Aaron are totally on the same page which is a must- married life will be such an easy transition for you both. My hubby and I just hit the one year mark and this post makes me think of what I can do better as a wife. Thanks for sharing!

Allison said...

I had always envisioned my husband and I having one checking/savings. We have separate accounts and we can both access them. It works for us. My husband said the same things as Aaron. :)

We wanted to have children right away initially too. BUT we've been married almost a year and spent half of it apart. We're planning on waiting at least another year, maybe two depending on deployment schedules. I'm okay with that, just like you it's fun to be able to spend QT with the hubby (especially after the planning is over).

Marriage is SO much harder than just "dating". We lived together, but it's way more than I ever anticipated. It's fun, exciting and so much work all together. LOL

Enjoy this last week, all the planning will soon be over. Just relax and take in this special time! Congrats!!!!!

Jessica and Stephan said...

Your finances are up to you, and you do what is right for you. We have joint accounts, and we had several reasons for doing that. For us, it cut down the fighting and cut out the "mine and yours". Now we simply have "arguments" sometimes on what to spend the money on. For us, joint accounts is what works. It may not be for everyone, and that's ok.

Pamela said...

Love this post. We now have joint accounts. We got married last August, & just got a joint account maybe a month ago. I think it works best for us now! That way we know exactly what we have all together. Good luck with everything! You will be a beautiful bride.