The hardest step is to get up & out the door....

For the past three days, I've woke up swollen.
My rings are trying to suffocate my fingers and I don't like it.
My body is puffy and bloated.
Ha... what's new?
Last night, I cooked Chicken Alfredo for dinner.
I ate horrible. I did not do good and not once did I think of my weight loss goal.
UNTIL... Stephanie tagged me on Instagram with a picture of her about to run.
Shit.
That's exactly what I said out loud.
Not only did I feel bad about 1} not exercising like I told myself I would. 2}my body felt worse because didn't portion my foods. I was miserable. I hated myself for it.
I went to bed early having no thoughts on getting up in the morning for a workout.

6:00am alarm {usually to get my husband up}
I look at my fingers and I see....

I rolled my eyes. Laid my head back down. Sat up and took a picture.
My husband sits up, "What the heck are you doing?"
"My fingers are swollen and I'm gonna see if my blog friends know what I can do."
He laughs.
I lay back down. Miserable. I'm still bloated and stuffed from the night before.
That's a horrible feeling.
I start thinking about ALL OF YOU.
Get up Jess.
Then I thought of the E-Card I post on Mondays saying are you aren't get anywhere by
thinking of running.
I wanted to go back to sleep.
My husband was lazy and wouldn't get up.
I wanted to sleep.
I thought more of ALL OF YOU.
Get up Jess.
Run a loop.
Do a work-out off the TV.
I want to sleep.

Finally, I popped up - said "Get up!"
Went into the kitchen, got watermelon {my MIL said it would help my swollen-ness}
Ate a huge piece.
Aaron walks in... totally confused, calls me weird and gives me a kiss.
Finally he leaves. I get my work-out clothes on {tore the tags off from Christmas, remember?}
and went to find my shoes.

I was nervous.
I'm not gonna lie. I felt huge.
I took a picture thinking, Let's do a before and after.

Went to run out the door & saw my MIL pulling away.

I hid inside. {go ahead and laugh}

Waited.

Went to go back outside... & my SIL was driving up to my MIL house.

I hid.

Then thought, screw it. Just run.

So I did. I ran out the door, down the driveway, and to the end of the road.

I had to take two 15 second walks in between because my lungs were.. Heck I don't even know. I thought I was gonna die.

I wanted to quit.

I thought of ALL OF YOU.

Don't quit. Keep running. You aren't running very far, I kept telling myself.

You can do this.

Go to the end of the road, totally out of breath and as I turned around ...

I thought I'd never make it back home.
Truthfully, I felt horrible.
I felt as if I were going to hack up all the watermelon I just downed.
I was struggling.

15 seconds later. I started running... {more of a jog}.
This time it wasn't so hard - it seemed.
But I STILL felt so bloated and disgusting.
I made it to the front porch and wanted to lay down in our grassy yard...

I'm not laughing there. I'm breathing... hard.

I was struggling.

I DID IT!!!

It felt so good to know I finished the small run I did.

Trust me. It was no long run. MAYBE - half a mile.

I walked inside and thought, should I do a home workout?

I couldn't. Well... I probably could but I felt so yucky.

I really did.

I sat on the couch, while watching Lizzy McGuire {it was just on}

and really thought I was gonna throw up.

I actually felt good, my body did.

I really did. But then again, I did not feel good.

I struggled to get off the couch.

Finally, I ran by bath - started to think about getting for work.

Many responses from Instagram were popping up left and right.

Thank you ALL for your sweet comments. They truly help me & hold me accountable.

And before I do go, I will share something I said I would NOT do to myself...



But I did.

Why not?

I need to see the difference after all of this is over.

Well...

I think I succeeded - for today.

Luke, Dolly & Awkwardness!

Did everyone have a wonderful Memorial weekend?

We did, FO SHO - but it ended with major wetness.

Re-Cap to be shared later this week - you may or may not see this girl a big tipsy.

Onto my thoughts on last nights

 Bachelorette

PLEASE do not share the spoilers
if you plan on commenting, however
I love your feed back!

Let me start off  by saying...

I have a new top runner.

As much as I like Ryan, the GA boy his this pretty looks -

my attention was stolen last night by someone else. Luke wasn't the only one who melted this ♥

Before I share, I want to start off with my thoughts on Emily ...

I feel Emily nic-piks. I sometimes feel she judges too quick. 

Also, I want Emily to find L.O.V.E for herself.

Sometimes I feel like I am watching this show to choose the right dad for Ricki...

not so much about finding love.

Don't judge that comment, as a daughter of a dad who didn't have to be...

I completely understand the importance of finding someone who can be the perfect step-dad.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Totally uncomfortable, yet hysterical.

Dude.. what the {bleep}?

Alessandro explains how he hasn't really had any experience with kids {I didn't think that wasn't so bad - it could happen} but then he repeatedly explains how he feels having Ricki as a step child would be a compromise -

Laughing, I was completely uncomfortable during this conversation.

I was thinking, why is he saying that? And then realized this is really what he believes.

I knew he was a goner. Watch it here.

But the best part was after the cocktail party & rose ceremony, basically the show was over - they shared a small clip of Alessandro with Emily's girlfriends

and what they asked him:

{I'm hysterical as I'm typing this}

Alessandro admitted to the following....

1} He dated his cousin.

2} He's cheated on a girlfriend before

3} He's had a one night stand

Okay, so I believe that you really can't take the past into the present however,

if you are trying to win the friends - number 1, 2, & 3 are NOT something to say out loud.

Whoa. I was dying laughing and I am still laughing.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Emily & Chris' date

Wall climbing - cool. Lightening = not cool.

Waiting for the perfect time to kiss her = such a gentleman, I loved that.

Dancing in front of Luke Bryan = totally would've ruined my date... LB melts my ♥

I wouldn't have been able to concentrate.

I thought it went well. I like him.

However, I feel his age put a 'skiiiiiiirrrrrt' on her view on Chris.

perfect example of what I was explaining up there about Emily.

I think being younger than her, really scared her. To me, it's just an age.

If it wasn't effecting her view on him before, it shouldn't matter now that it has been announced - BUT... it will.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Group Date

 

Sean really stood out to me on this date.

Yes, he got the rose on this date but it wasn't so much his pretty face or anything he said.

I liked his confidence when talking with the girlfriends.

Not to much. Not to less.

I didn't think Ryan saying what he said about gaining weight was SO bad.

I felt he was slightly being humorous yet truthful.

Then again, I don't really know.

------------------------------------------------

Emily & Arie

Just when I thought I moved in on Sean being my favorite...

I saw more of this guy.  Arie... my front runner.
I'm not really sure what sparked me to really like him.
Check his date out here.

 I feel he is real.
Not so sensitively sweet. Not so look at me. Not so I'd be the best dad to Ricki.

I think he is just a regular guy trying to fall in love with Emily.
I loved their date, yes. But the moment that made him top runner for me
was when {clearly} everyone could tell Emily was upset about Alessandro & her conversation...

 Arie was the only one who went to consult her and see if she was okay.
Their kiss... yes, the one in the house...
was awesome.

I definitely see chemistry between the two. I like him.
I like them.



-------------------------------------------------

Random thoughts:

Did I see a jealous side of Ryan on next weeks preview? Am I going to see a bad side of him? Is he getting cocky? Ohhh please no. I hate cocky.
Biggest turn off EVER!
---------------

Thank goodness the EGG is gone.

----------------
Speaking of gone, Tony is gone. Hallelujah!
Emily did a wonderful thing to remove him -
When the Bachelorette has to start mothering her men choices... it's a sign of goodbye.

He was like forcing his child to miss him and then hurled up in
a corner alley... crying.

--------------
Kalon - Whoa, how about him telling her

"I love it when you talk but I'd wish you'd let me finish."

There conversation was another horrific awkward moment.
Watch it here.
 Why is he still here?
I think the show/producers are keeping him. That would have been it for me.

-------------------
NATE... where the heck are you? You are adorable!
Why don't talk... or even been seen? You better wake up man!

-------------

Did Emily's blond friend NOT remind you of Chelsea Lately?
She had be cracking UP with some of those questions.

&&& last thought....

Who is ready for some adventurous, beachy, only-on-the-bachelorette
DATES?

Me Me Me Me ME!!!!

All photos were taken from Google Images.

Keep Me Accountable

Before I brag on myself, I want to brag on all of you.

Wow. Last Monday after writing my {Laying it ALL out on the Line} post, emails of encouragement starting pouring in - I couldn't believe the support from all of you. Your encouragement continued ALL week. I'm totally overwhelmed in the best way you can possibly be. I keep going back and reading ALL your words & advice. You have no idea how much you've helped me. I hope you ALL continue to support me by stopping in & keeping me accountable. If I could hug you, I totally would.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Week: 1       

"The Hardest Step for a Runner

is the first step out of the front door."

My Goal

Due Date:   8 weeks      Weight Goal:  26 lbs      Fitness Goal: Run a 5k

Went well. I was really pumped about all the supporters, I definitely kept thinking of all of you & THIS post every time I wanted to eat like a chunk.
To be totally honest, my quote up there ... Yeah, I failed. Running, I didn't do any of.
Excuses, Excuses. With leaving for our camping trip Wednesday and being it was our first time out in our camper, I kept ALL my extras minutes packing and stocking... making sure everything was set & ready to go {besides Monday night, I DID watch The Bachelorette while baking homemade chocolate chip cookies}. As I'm typing this, one thing comes to mind... someone said to me if you can make time to get up and go to work, you can make time to exercise. Well, if I can make time to watch The Bachelorette, ... yeah. Dammit!
Well, I'm not done. I'm still learning but I'm ready to take on this thing I hate called
R.U.N.N.I.N.G.

My eating went well. I splurged, yes. However, thanks to ALL of you who introduced me
to {MyFitnessPal}, my gosh where was this two months ago... I stayed under my calories.
I love this APP. Thank you X a million.
According to this app, my daily calorie intake is 1200.

The scale says I've lost weight.
Whoo-hoo!!!

How much? 3 pounds.
I'm super excited. If I keep this up, I totally can think I drop my goal in 8 weeks.
I plan on entering my exercise this week - I'm really pumped!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

      You can't get much done in life ....

        if you only worked the days you felt good.

Join in, share your story... if you'd like to.

    

Laying it ALL out on the line.

photo credit

Not usually the one to be sad.

Not sure if I'm sad.

Not sure what I'm feeling deep inside.

Okay, so in general. I'm happy. I've always been a happy person.
I'm not one to look at the negative or see the worst in something. I live to

make memories and bring peace... finding the good.

I'm not a fan of Debbie-Downers or Negative Nancys.
Those two ladies DRIVE.ME.NUTTS-O.

I'm happy waking up. I'm happy going to work.  I'm happy at work. I'm happy coming home.  I'm happy in my marriage. I'm happy with my friendships. I'm happy with the people around me. I happy when I lay down at night to sleep.

That being said.
I am totally unhappy with myself, my appearance, my look...
better yet said as, I'm unhappy with how I feel about myself.

I've always been comfortable with who I am. I've never been one to play the

low self esteem card or wear it.

Whether I felt amazing about my body or gained extra pounds. Whether I'd have great skin one week and  the following week Fred & his friends visit my face galore.

Good or bad hair days, Good or bad makeup days...

I've always just been me and A-OKay with whatever happened.

I knew it was a phase and would come and go.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I've gained 16 pounds....

SIXTEEN pounds since my honeymoon.

That is not okay with me.

I hate it. I don't like it. I feel horrible. I'm a lazy ass. End of story.

I actually lost 18 LBS for my wedding. But I did NOT feel this bad. I actually felt good.
I did not feel or as yuck as I do today.

I actually went Gluten Free for 2.5 weeks and even though I maybe lost like 6 lbs

I felt really good. Six pounds in 2.5 weeks was great.

And then I went on the cruise. Started out eating right and then proved I was from America and doubled my eating.
Eating GF was not as hard as I expected. I tell myself everyday just pick up and go GF starting tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I'm eating everything I see.

Everyday, I want to eat everything in site.
As if I've never ever eaten before.
What's up with that?
I'm not pregnant. Aunt Flo just left town yesterday.
Hallelujah! {TMI?}

I signed up for the gym. I haven't been ... not once.

I started doing work outs from our ON DEMAND {which are great}

but ... I didn't keep up.

I got lots of workouts clothes && tennis shoes
for Christmas. Yes, I said Christmas. The tags have NOT been taking off of the clothes
and only because of kick ball have I worn my tennis shoes... until I got cleats.
That's just sad. So sad.

I used to be able to drop weight like nothing.

It's true. The closer you get to your 30's the harder it is. And I'm sure it gets worse.

Basically, I'm lazy. I want motivation. I need it. I have none.

I'm wearing the sad face and playing the low self esteem card ---  I don't like it.

Also, before EVER thinking of getting pregnant, I want to have all of this under control.
I want to already be exercising on a regular basis.
 Speaking of exercise. Exercising is another lazy bone I have.
I think about it NON-stop! NON-STOP. All day long about how I need to just
run. Or do this. Or do that. And if I did, I know it would help everything.
 I plan in my head to get up early to run or do whatever and what happens. Sleep comes first and I don't get up in time to fit it in.

It really makes me angry inside that I have NO self motivation.
I know. It's me. All me. I sound so awful. I'm the person I hate listening to.

Randomly and unexpected I vowed to my husband while laying in bed last night...

I said it out loud {in a non-sad, tell me what I wanna hear} voice...

I wanna vow something to you...

Okay....

I vow to get back where I was in my weight.

.... What?

I promised myself before we got married that I would not get "comfortable" and let myself go, and I have. I have completely.

J, you look great. All the time. You have no let yourself go.

I've gained so much weight and it's ridiculous. I need to promise this to you, for you & for me.

Okay. Well I'm not vowing to you. You just may have to get fat Aaron.

Are you telling me you're trying to get fat? {laughing}

No. {laughing} but I'm probably not going to hold back on eating.

And then we went to bed.

I'm not writing this because I want to play the low self esteem card.

I'm writing this - sharing this because if I say it out loud I know I will be more accountable.

I'm Lazy. I'm not hungry. I'm Lazy.

 Starting EVERY Monday, I plan to post about my fitness & weight.
Not very blog interesting I know but I think this way I will work harder to reach my goals.

What are my goals?

I've set up a reunion/girls weekend for my very old girlfriends back from middle school.
We all moved away and ventured off. Some of us got married. Some of us have become Mommys, some of us... are still figuring it out.
But there are seven of us spending the weekend together in Florida the weekend of
July19th. These ladies are teeny-tiny. I don't want to be tiny. I will always have curves & hips. But I don't want to be the one skipping out on the group shot while drinking margaritas on the beach. Actually, I don't want to be the girl who can't quit figeting and thinking about what she looks like.
Also, I don't want to do this for anyone else. I want to do this for me.
I want to do this for me & my husband.
I want this for ME.

I want to loose not only the 16lbs I've gained but 10 more lbs.
That's right. a WOP-N' 26 lbs.

Due Date: July 19th
Weight Loss Goal: 26LBS
Fitness: Run a 5k before July 19th.

I have 60 days to get there.
I want this for ME.

I want to do this the right way.
Any tips or suggestions?
Please, I'd love to hear it from you.

Now.
 Who is ready for The Bachelorette?
ME. Me. Me!!!
I'm SO excited. Ready to see what's up!

Oh & I'm looking for a BLOG designer. I need a new look.
Please suggest some designers to me. Thanks.

Q's & A's about THIS girl... Take Two

Happy to know everyone else thought my

HELP for my husband was wonderful & it's normal to want to

have to write an apology down on paper rather than say it out loud.

HA! Really normal, right?

So I've been slack, this is true.

Forgive me? Good.  I'll try to stay on top of my posts

a little better than I have been.

Today, I have the rest of my answers for you.

Again, thank you for being so patient with me as I've taken far to long to respond.

First set of Q's & A's 

Starting with Jill , she had curiosity with my favorite song that is out NOW, who

my celebrity crush is {boy oh boy}, my all time favorite TV show & if I've

ever had a moment where I laughed until I cried.

1} My favorite song out right now would be Boyfriend from JB.

I'm a 26 year old true fan of his and even if I weren't, I'd love that song.

It's gets my soul pumping in the mornings.

I JUST heard this song this week...
&& I love it. It's Tim McGraw - I Better than I used to be
It's on repeat everyday.

2} Celebrity Crush - Ryan Reynolds all.the.way.

He's gorgeous!

3}ALL time favorite TV show - The Ellen DeGeneres Show

I DVR it every day and watch it every evening as I cook dinner.

Not a show goes by that I don't find myself laughing... a lot!

HUGE fan of The Bachelor/ette - I'm watching every Monday night when airing.

DVR-ing this show is not okay.  I also LOVE Criminal Minds. I DVR them but watch them occasionally. I'm a sucker for crime scenes.

4} I have laughed until I cried - many of times with a lot of little things.

However, this is still on my Bucket List because I'm waiting for a big moment in life

where it really happens. I can't wait for something BIG to take place where I can

write down every moment, every second and when, where and why.

I think everyone should be hopeful for one of these moments in life.

------------------------------------------------------

Ali wanted to know what my favorite part about a Bachelorette Party

& how I decided to start selling Pure Romance.

1} A Bachelorette Party....

I actually had to come back to this because I didn't really know what my favorite part was.

I've never posted about my bachlorette party because I'm lame.

When I got to thinking about what my favorite part was & all the parties I've attended,

the part that brought me the biggest smile was the after math.

The ride home. The next day. The time to go home. The talk about all the shiiii that went down and  who did what.  The I feel like my dogs shiiii that's stuck on the bottom of my shoe but holy mess... remember doing this?

There's something about a Bachelorette party that makes the wild come out

in most ladies. Or it definitely does me. Scavenger Hunts, Drinking, Getting Pretty &

hung over the next day.  All the talk about it is the best part to me.

The memory.

2} I've always hosted PR parties for my friend Karen who's been a consultant for

11 years now. It was always kick-ass fun and entertaining. In college, I hosted a party every 3 months and then we'd finish the night out on the town.

Karen has been trying to get me to sell for ... COUNTLESS of years.

I never really was interested. Until Feburary 2011.

I had lunch with her that day and again, she was trying to get me to sign up.

At the time, Aaron and I were JUST getting started planning the wedding & at the time

we were prepping to get pregnant ... on the honeymoon, after the honeymoon, whenever it happened. We discussed how much it would be great if I stayed home and quit working.

This was our plan. When having lunch with Karen, she was talking PR and mentioned how much she made just in the month of Feburary. I was floored.

Went home, discussed with with Aaron & on March 4th I bought my kit.

Being a Pure Romance Consultant, you are your own boss. You make your own hours. You are the stay at home Mom, yet you can bring in just as much in two parties {4 hours per party} as one can make working 40 hours a week. Legally.

Since I've joined the team, our plans have changed as of May 2011.

We realized we have our whole lives to be parents. We wanted to be married for a little bit. I love selling PR. It's easy. It's fun & I do NOT call it a job.

I probably only book myself two parties a month, if I want more I can do more

and use the $$$ for our extra wants around the house.

My girlfriend Karen makes $65,000 a year. She is a stay at home mom with a husband who works night shift. She doesn't miss out on anything with her three children.

Pure Romance is an AWESOME company & wonderful products.

Most people assume it's a {Dil-Pickle} party, however it's not & I'm slightly offended when I'm known as the {DiL-Pickle} lady. I make sure to correct those words just as soon as I hear them.

We educate, entertain & empower woman. We offer ALL products such as bath, massage,  bedroom accessories, lingerie, make-up & skin care.

So happy I signed up!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Samantha Lynne asked a popular question...

She claims my hair is perfect, and wants to know how so & what I use.

First let me say, it's not perfect. Its actually broken and damanged as all get out.

Go to the FIRST  set of Q's & A's to read the products I use & what

I do to my hair!

Thank you! ;)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kristie, my bestie & fellow blogger wanted to know

what my favorite Ice Cream & Nut was.

This could get dangerous.

Hmmm... Do I dare?

My favorite Ice Cream....

Probably Coffee or Strawberry.

Boring?

My favorite Nut. Okay, so ....

It's definitely a pecan.

I could eat a bag full ALL day long.

-------------------------------------------------------------

And Miss Stephanie wanted to know being I stayed so busy

what did I do with my spare time, my "Me" time. Me with no one else.

She got it right, I do stay busy. Most of the time I don't have ME/ALONE time.

But... every now and then when I have open time I do...

Nothing. I'm just has happy as I can be cuddle up on the couch

catching up on re-runs or Criminal Minds, The Golden Girls or Ellen.

And usually end up watching a lifetime movie or two... or three.

I make sure to have my most baggiest {& most comfiest} clothes on [being I don't wear them around the husband] with lots of pillows and a blanket... droping the AC down low. That's what I do.

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE to get a pedicure. But that involves other people.

I'm the awkward girl in the chair next to you who is asleep... jiggling to death as the massage chair throws me all over the place.

That's me!

That time when I found the perfect way to help my husband.

I love Books a Million.

It's become my new most favorite store.

It has ALL kinds of stuff.

Really cool stuff.

Stuff that I LOVE wasting money on.

I was in there earlier this week looking for a biography on JFK.

Go ahead a laugh, or maybe even look confused.

Yes. I've developed this crazy affair with him and his life.

Not really. I just find it very interesting.

My husband can not get over this.

He thinks I'm a nut.

Anyway.

When standing in line at the register, waiting...

I did my normal.

Look around at everything they have laid out for you to pick up and buy.

It gets me every time.

That very next second, I saw the most perfect gift.

Uhhhh, maybe not a gift, more like a helpful object that will nourish my marriage.

Ya see...

Aaron has this bug that lives inside of him.

It's called Pride.

For the most part, it does not affect me.

Not saying my husband has anything wrong with him because he pretty much is the most amazing person.

He can not for the life of him say the words, I'm sorry.

He apologizes, yes.

But in his own way.

Sometimes this is okay with me.

Sometimes I'm annoyed.

Sometimes I want to hear the simplicity of, I'm sorry.

He can not say it.

Almost as if it's the worst thing in the world.

He dreads it.

Back to standing in line.

I look down and see different pads of paper.

All different shapes, sizes & color.

Ever heard of Knock Knock stuff?

The stationary had objectives to them;

To Make Me Happy, WTH,  All Out Of, etc.

I scrambled through and found the most perfect thing to help my husband....

Brought it home Monday night.

Pasted it to my refrigerator.

When I showed him what I bought for him...

"Come here [in the kitchen]. I wanna show you want I bought you."

"[Wining] Uhhh, Not right now."

"Yeah, you'll love it. It's gonna help you get over your fear."

[he smiles and knows I'm up to something]

finally comes into the kitchen after forcing him... literally

he is looking all around waiting for something to ring a bell.

To the refrigerator I bring him.

He dies laughing.

Hysterical.

Since then. We've both had to use the Apology pad.

Yes...

He expects me to use it too.

I thought, no way.

But what kind of example is that?

He uses it first ----

{just minutes after this introduction}

Ya see..
Aaron LOVES to wrestle.
With me. Probably with you if you could.
We average wrestling 6 out of the seven days of the week.
Monday night, he came home from Poker & after showing him this idea
he thought he should physically show me what he thought of it.
I hate it.
But I love it.
I always laugh uncontrollably.
I usually end up wining.
In the middle of trying to play fight, he somehow manages to bend my toe nail all the way
back and break it almost completely off.
I freak out.
He laughs but tries to show emotion....
and then it dawns on him.
The Apology Pad.



No he did not break my toe.
I'm not sure why it says, "Toe Broke".
It doesn't even make sense, I know this.
I promise he does know proper grammar & this is not how he speaks.
I blame the beer from poker.


Last night was my turn.
I was oh so pissy.
Hormonal.
After trying on two new bathing suits and getting completely disgusted, I was a grump.
Ate dinner, grumpy.
Cleaned the kitchen, grumpy.
Started to watch Chronicles, grumpy.
He was trying his very best to put my happy face on.
I was so hormonal.
Towards the end of the movie I see this bug crawling on our coffee table...
total freak out.
He kills it.

Ya see.
We had a porch light at the entrance of our front door,
at dawn it attracts the worst  case of flying insect I've ever seen.
It's horrible.
If you open the door for a small as a split second, several have entered.
This has been under my skin for some time now.

So he kills the bug.
Minutes later, the same bug is C.R.A.W.L.I.N.G on my leg, my thigh.
TOTAL FREAK OUT.
I jump up.
Start screaming.
However we both were kind of laughing because of the movie we just watched...
me jumping up immediately made Aaron stand high off the couch, scared his balls off.
Not completely, but almost.
In all reality, I'm freaking out about these bugs constantly swimming in our house...
Blaming my wonderful husband.
That's when he got up and walked into his Man Room and shut the door.
Something he never does.
We don't close each other out.
I knew he was mad.

I cleaned up.
Got ready for bed.
Waited for him.
He walks it goes like this....

"Are you done freaking out?" {smiling}
"Are you done being mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you."
"... which explains you going into your man room & closing the door."
He laughs.
"... there is something waiting for you on the fridge."

Has NO clue what he was talking about...
and it dawned on my this morning.
So I woman-ed up and filled it out.

The Apology Pad = + for us!!!
Only we both need to read correctly and check [I will NOT] do it again.
Neither one of us realized we marked the wrong one until he saw mine.
Whoops.

Go visit the variety of books, they are great!
I actually got the ALL OUT OF book too!
Knock Knock

ReCAP... Emily's first night! Ekkkk!

I know, I know I've been... not here.

To be honest I've been burned out a little. Okay a LOT.  

Blah. Blah Blah. 

Moving along

  Let's talk

The BACHELORETTE!

I've been counting down the days until May 14th.

  I was so excited last night waiting for 9:30 to roll around.  And now...

 I'm here for my ritual, re-CAP baybay!

Are.you.ready?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me start of my saying...

I  do.not.want to know the

spoilers or who the top three or who she ends up with....

AT ANY POINT.

It ruined it for me last season. 

If you comment, please do NOT tell me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rewind back 2 weeks ago:

The Release of top 25 men

 Did you feel let down?

Did the mens faces look extremely lop-sided?

Did you shar-t your panties... as I did?

I was very nervous. Nervous for Emily.

Last night:

This was the first time I was watching it by myself due to a new ritual my husband

has picked up, Monday Night Poker with the guys.

... he totally asked me to record it. #truestory

I had my girlfriend Caitlin in my right hand...

we had a text-date.

Well.. I kind of forced her into it. I couldn't quit texting her. Poor thing.

Sorry Cait!♥

I loved her introduction.

Emilys Outfits always excite me more than anything.

When it came time to see the men, I saw true nerves yet happiness on her face...

... but honestly, I could NOT quit thinking about Brad.

frown.

Is he watching this? What is he thinking? Is he broken? Is he happy?

{... right after Emilys introduction, Aaron walks in the door. He couldn't STAND it.}

The Limo Arrives:

Dun.Dun.Dun....

 Can I just say that I think first impressions are a big

especially on this show. However I'm more of a... less is more.

Start small, finish big = my bachelor/ette motto

I hate a cheesy guy... I love effort. I'm totally the hopeless-romantic type. I'm married to the biggest man-child out there. I love personality. 

I hate cheesiness. I hate cocky. I hate when someone pushes TOO much of one thing. 

Nate

 Nate got my first pick when I stalked the release of the 25 men

based on looks. I thought he was a cutie & looked normal as the rest of them looked ODD.

 

 Even though I couldn't smell him...

A woman never forgets a good smelling man.

My perfect example of {Less Is More}. He did not do much last night but

I think Nate will come strong later.

Doug

My first impression = I felt he was mous-ie looking & this pose for this picture

looked as if he was giving the camera man a... come get me, I want you so bad look.

... totally annoyed the heck outta me.

Of course he got the first impression rose because of his son's letter

in which I did think was adorable. However, Doug himself is playing the

{I'm a single Dad, You're a single Mom, I Love my son, You love your daughter, I need a wife, you want a husband, Let's get married???} card a little to much.

I also think Doug will bring drama to the house. He was very opinionated & talked excessively. Which isn't a bad thing but I still got a yuck feeling from him.

He reminded me of the movie Jerry Mcquire.

Only he was trying to get Emily by LOVING his son.

... yes I know thats NOT how the movie went down.

OVERALL, I was pissed he got the FIRST impression rose.

Joe

Emiiiiiillllllly......!!!!

First impression - I didn't remember him

Never judge a book by a cover because Joe....

Joe may not be the hottest but his personality was pretty memorable.

Okay, so I got a little scared when he screamed her name and did the happy walk/dance

a few times walking up to her. Overall, I thought his personality was good.

I think he'll be fun.

Chris

... he seemed odd to me when I saw this picture 2 weeks back.

Almost like ... too groomed.

Looks better in person {aka on TV}.

I thought his hand made bobble-heads was a great idea.

Thats my kind of ... win my heart.

It put thought into it without being cheesy.

I love a guy who puts effort into things... especially gifts!

BIG turn on!

Stevie

Loves this color green.

... holy mess the man can move!

I love a dancer.

Dude TOTALLY got busted out by Helicopter guy.

I kind of felt stupid for him.

Kalon

Don't judge me but I thought he looked lop-sided & vampir-ish.

I immediately thought "Not Emily".

Kalon is a "ladies man" he says in which I thought was not true not the best thing to

say when you are {serious enough} to be on this show.

He arrives in a helicopter... okay cool but again a little too much.

Like {LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME}

He totally thought he was getting the first impression rose which I found hysterical.

And... he didn't look quite lop-sided & vampir-ish on screen.

These photographs are awful.

I think Kalon will be THE drama on the show!

Oh and they have him as a {Luxury Brand Consultant}...

can someone tell me what the heck that is? Is it is a title that is trying to make something

else look bigger and better?

Okay... we all remember this guy

Randy

when I first saw this photo I totally thought his choice of clothing was

 a little much, I didn't like it. However, I thought he had the cutest smile, it shines.

His clothes just threw me off.

Randy shows up looking like a Grandma.

Were you as embarrassed for him as I was? I totally hid my face.

I knew he blew it. However, I kind of wanted him to stay longer because

It's more of his personality. I thought he was someone that shined, that stood out once his grandma look was gone. I liked him.

Perfect example of {Start Small, Finish BIG}

Alejandro

First Impression: No way, not for Emily.

{... as if I know what's good for her.}

I thought his conversation with Emily was cute, it made me smile

but I started to get a little like ... "okay stop."

Tony

... cheesy cheesy cheesy. Hated his entrance COMPLETELY.

I kind of think he will be the next {Jenna the blogger, on last season}.

Seemed a little to emotional.

Travis

hate his hair but looks better in person

I did not realized the egg was real.

I thought it was totally weird. I'm not a bird fan and out of all the things he thought

of to impression Emily, he thought holding a real egg was the way to go?

Or a way to show her he can take care of her and Ricki.

Very odd to me.

I'm totally not understand how he is going to keep up with this egg.

I'm just stumped.

I'm gonna call it NOW, that the show sets him up with like Skydiving or something

very...can't really keep up with the egg-like.

Brent

First Impression: goofy & didn't look Emily's style 

 I totally was broken hearted for this guy. I really was.

No, I didn't see him with Emily but I kind of wish he stayed at least one more round.

That being said

There is NO shame in six kids. The is NO shame in anyone's lifestyle.

However, bringing it to the table on the first date... well the first 10 minutes of talking

is a little intimating.

I know Emily wants love, wants a father-figure for her baby girl & wants

a mini-van full of babies... but again, throwing {I have six children}out there before you even know anything else is a little much.

I ALWAYS loved how Emily waited to share her story with Brad. And really the rest of the girls too. She wanted Brad to see HER first not everything else and that's how I think it should be.

 

I felt bad for Brent. I wanted to hug him.

I will say that I loved he brought a picture of all of them!

Ryan

My first impression: Cute. Older looking.

Reminded me of my tennis coach in HS who I had a major crush on.

... I'd be lying if I didn't already melt when I saw the preview yesterday

at work. I knew he was a hottie.

 

Georgia Boys = Keepers!

+ Ryan is from S.A.V.A.N.N.A.H Georgia! Points!

Ryan is smokN'. He totally caught my eye getting out of the limo.

I thought his paper {You're Beautiful / I'm so Nervous} was...

It made me blush. It was really cute.

I was TOTALLY freaking out when he said "I wrote down what I wanted to say..."

I thought, you are about to blow it. And then that...

two thumbs up. I kind of thought he was in the running for the first impression rose.

{... I didn 't see them talk last night but I REALLY hate when men sit like that.}

It's a personal thing.

... wait - are his socks purple?

Jef

did NOT see him and Emily together at all.

HATED his hair.

... rolls up on a skateboard, alright not bad.

I still like {getting out of a limo} better but okay, it wasn't bad.

I think Jef is going to be to emotional for me. He's already like..

"... I hope these men treat he right. She deserves a good guy."

Kind of counting himself out. Seemed like he had low self-esteem... which happens

but I do not like a wine-ER. Not my style.

We will see. He seemed to grab her attention & make a good impression

so... we will see.

 

... and that concludes my thoughts on the guys.

Of course I left some guys out but these are the ones who really had me talking & who left memories in my head.

Didn't these men go back and watch some of Emily & Brads show? Can't they see that Emily is gentle and calm.

I say that not meaning they shouldn't be themselves but first impression is a big deal.

Woman remember what they first remembered of a person, man or woman when they first met them.

Dressing like Grandma, getting down on one knee with a pillow and a slipper or bringing a goose egg is not the brightest trait for the first time meeting someone.

Or for me anyway.

Again, I really thought there was going to be some DROP.DEAD.SEXY-AS-HELL. men

and really, they are just everyday guys. Not saying they are ugly but... you get get my drift?

 Maybe there will actually be a successful

couple. Just because Emily is completely stunning doesn't mean she has to have a completely stunning looking fella.

... Or that's what I'm telling myself now.

There is definitely a variety of men

- shapes, sizes, looks & jobs.

Two questions:

{help me figure it out}

who is the lucky one who makes this southern belle

bring out her potty mouth and totally screws up by saying

she has baggage....

And who do you think gets the first date?