I'm a health nut who is OB-sessed with weddings, college football, vodka, lip balm and anything pink. Beau is the husband and was actually the inspiration behind my blog title (BEAUtiful Mess-get it?) Anyways-he's a social butterfly who loves to hunt. He's got mad skills when it comes to slow pitch softball and I can honestly say he was put on this earth for me to marry. :)
Nice to meet ya!
When Jessica asked me to guest post about something inspirational, I knew there was only one thing I would be writing about...it may be a leeeetle lengthy but I hope you all find it inspiring and can learn a lesson (or two!) from it...
***
To say my world completely changed within the blink of an
eye 33 months ago would be an understatement.
To say my world completely changed within the blink of an
eye 33 months ago would be an understatement.
***
it being rainy. My dad was supposed to go hunting that weekend but for some odd reason, opted to stay home instead and come see me at work. It was pretty early in the night, maybe around 9pm or so when all of a sudden, my world came crashing down.
Dad collapsed.
Never in my life would I have thought I would have to actually use that 3-digit telephone number they taught us about in elementary school…and I definitely didn’t think I would be dialing it for my own dad. That was the last time I saw him. To save you all (& myself) from reliving any more heartache than what I’ve already dealt with, dad had a massive heart attack and passed away within the blink of an eye.
this be? I was only 21. Not old enough to lose my daddy.
I was his little girl.
He was going to walk me down the aisle one day.
He and my mom had been married for 24 years. What would she do without him?
What about my baby brother?
bartending every single weekend, working 2 internships throughout the week and had my heart set on making the Dean’s List and graduating with honors...all while dealing with the loss of my beloved father. But how would I even stand to go to class with all this weighing on my mind? How was I supposed to function after such a loss? How would my mom go on without her rock? Without the supporter of the family? She only worked part time to pay for shopping and traveling…how would she pay the bills? How could she live by herself once my brother and I were both completely out of the house?
Impossible?
How?
At first-yes. Looking back-no. I talked about it, a lot. I cried even more. I thought about him, and still do, a ton…which is why I can sit here and write about it without shedding a tear. How did I make it through the rest of school? How did my mom move on? And the question every girl wants to know…how did I get through my wedding day without him there...he was supposed to see me in that dress…and walk me down that aisle…and have that father/daughter dance we were supposed to share.
How?
At first-yes. Looking back-no. I talked about it, a lot. I cried even more. I thought about him, and still do, a ton…which is why I can sit here and write about it without shedding a tear. How did I make it through the rest of school? How did my mom move on? And the question every girl wants to know…how did I get through my wedding day without him there...he was supposed to see me in that dress…and walk me down that aisle…and have that father/daughter dance we were supposed to share.
I had no choice-I got humble. I soon realized that every single thing in our lives happens for a reason. Every person we meet comes into our life for a reason and the events that we deal with on an every day basis, happen for a reason. I stopped judging people. I realized that each and every person in this world has a story and you can’t go around passing judgments when you have no idea what that person has been through. You literally have no idea. I can definitely say I now know the true meaning of “Live each day like it’s your last”.
On my wedding day, I wore his wedding band pinned to the
inside my boot (I'm from Texas, y'all!), I laid rose petals in his honor, and my uncle (his brother) delivered a memory reading during our ceremony.
inside my boot (I'm from Texas, y'all!), I laid rose petals in his honor, and my uncle (his brother) delivered a memory reading during our ceremony.
My brother…the sweetheart of our little family. He keeps us all sane when mom and I start going off the deep end. He saw me in that white dress, took my by the hand and walked me down that aisle on my wedding day. He even picked out a perfect song for us to dance to during our brother/sister dance where we laughed, we cried and we shared the happiest of memories during that dance. We both knew that’s not what was in “our plans” but it was in “His plans” and we have accepted it.
crawl into hole and never see the light of day ever again like many widows do but she knew dad wouldn’t have wanted that for her. She started working full time and eventually even started dating.
Weird-right? My mom? Dating?
It was weird. And it was hard. But I also knew that she was too young (only 46) to live by herself for the rest of her life so I had to be open to it. She’s been dating for about 2 years now and although I cannot officially say “She’s found the one!”…it’s so enlightening to see her so gitty over a first date, or a sweet text message or about just staying in on a Saturday night to watch movies.
Me & mom on my bachelorette cruise
He still has a stocking that gets hung every year and we typically go to dinner on his birthday. He looks out for us each and every day and I always know that when things get tough, he’ll have his eye out for me. Even though he is not here physically, I still see him, his baby blue eyes and that big sweet smile that could light up any room.
these two were insperable
***
Phew-sorry to get so sappy on y'all guys! It's rare for me to write something so serious so I really hope you all see this as uplifting as it was for me to write about it.
And don't be a stranger! I'd love to meetcha so stop on over to my little slice of the world wide web and introduce yourselves, k? k!
xoxo
Stephanie
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Thank you Stephanie for being the first one to commit to writing your deeper side. I truly enjoyed it, though it was tough reading. You are a strong woman. Thank you for opening up and letting us see your inner emotions on life, love, & family.
Interested in sharing a guest on Stilettos & a fishingpole?
choose your topic & then leave a comment with your current email address
and I'll let set you up! Until next time...
Toodles!
50 comments:
Thank you for sharing your story- so sweet & touching. Reminders to appreciate everyday and love our loved ones a little more area always good.
Wow! That blew me away! I'm so glad that other people, and especially Stephanie, are sharing their stories of significant and sudden loss. It's amazing how many people go through this and can become stronger and better because of it. Thanks for sharing!
hi - new reader over here. i hopped over from stephanie's blog... and wow, what a great inspiring story... def teared up over it, thanks so much for sharing!
Wow Steph. I just love you..and your strength to deal with such a hard time like this. This literally made me cry and it made my heart SO happy to hear you wore his band in your boot. He is ALWAYS with you and will always and I think the fact that your brother walked you down the aisle is amazing amazing. Love you so much girl and thank you so much for sharing this story with us though I know it must be hard to. XOXOXOXO
I really enjoyed reading this softer side of you Stephy. We can relate so much on this level and I feel for you, I really do. It's like reading my own writing, except for the details, and that it was my Mom instead of your Dad. It has changed us and I believe for the better :) Love you lady to the moooon.
PS-new reader. love your blog!
Katie
Amazing post, definitely made me tear up! Love both of your blogs.
OMG IM crying at my desk. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. You have become such a strong person and I am SO proud of the woman and best friend you are!! I will never forget your Daddy!! I love him and you so much! XOXOX
Steph your strength is amazing! This story definitely made me tear up but you have an amazing outlook and i love that you are living every single day! i know your dad is proud of you girl! thank you so much for sharing this!!
Wow!! I'm kind of speechless. My dad & I aren't really close and I long for that relationship so to have a dad who I was so close to just die right in front of me would be horrific. I cannot even imagine. Thanks for the inspiration today, to be a better, nicer person. This truly touched me
Great message, sad story, but you are right, life is soo precious!Everyday life teaches a lesson. I think your Dad would be soo proud of you!!
Wow, thank you for this post. It was beautiful.
Stephanie, you are such an amazing person! Your post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for the reminder to hug my loved ones tight every time I see them. Sending a huge hug your way today too!
Lovely post. I lost my dad 3 years ago, when I was 18, after a 6 month battle with cancer. I feel your pain.
Oh my gosh. I am in a meeting at work reading this and literally started crying and had to stop! I guess I shouldn't read blogs during meetings. I have to come back and read afterwards! But from what I did read, you are such a strong person and I thank you for reminding us all to be grateful for the ones around us and to treat every day like it might be the last. Everyone needs a reminder every once and a while. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for this post, it was sweet and touching and inspirational. That was absolutely amazing, thank you again.
Stephanie! What a beautiful post. I've only met your mom and dad once at the DZ house while they were holding your doggie. What a sweet couple and I know he is super proud of you and your accomplishments.
This is such an amazing post.
I truly know your heart was lifted with smiles from your dad just by your sharing this.
Prayers girl!
Ahhhh I'm bawling at work right now! This is such an amazing post. It makes me want to call my Mom right now and just tell her how much I love her. Thanks for sharing Steph! You're def. an inspiration!
Is it appropriate to comment on my own guest post? Because I am...I HAVE to.
Y'all...are ALL too flippin' sweet! Thank you ALL for such kind words and thoughts! You have NO idea what this all means to me!
Life is precious! Live it up, girls! xoxo
Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing! I'm a reader of your blogg & skipped over to read your post. I too have been through such a loss in my life except it was my mom who passed & it was sort of expected. Either way it's never easy. I've been having a tough time the last couple of weeks with the holidays coming up & my birthday & this helped me to read your story! Thanks again & I look forward to reading more from this blog!
Shayna
mykitchenhomelife.blogspot.com
This is absolutely touching. Steph, you are such a strong young woman with a big heart. Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with Amanda - it reminds us to appreciate every day with our loved ones
Oh Steph! What an amazing post! Thanks for sharing your tough story. You are such a strong and amazing chicka-dee! So happy to call you my friend!
Omg this brought so many tears to my eyes. Fortunately I've never lost a loved one close to me, so I don't know how it feels, but I can only imagine. This truly makes me so grateful for the people I have in my lives, and from now on they will ALWAYS know how much I truly appreciate them and love them
This is such a touching and amazing post! Definately a huge reminder of how quickly things can change!
Oh wow...what a touching story. sorry for your loss and it sounds like your brother and uncle made your wedding day so very special!
Amazing. What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing.
I am sitting here on my bed crying my eyes out! what a touching story and you are SO right, everything in life happens for a reason and you handled your loss with such maturity and grace. I honestly don't know how you did it, i think i would have hid under a rock for months, but that experience made you stronger and in shaped you in ways that would never have been possible had that not happened. I am going through a few rough moments of my own right now and your post really made me stop and think and to turn my less-than-ideal situation into something better.
thank you for opening up to everyone, very courageous of you!
I am now following your blog! xoxo
carriekinsellainthecity.blogspot.com/
Stephanie: Oh my goodness. I bawled. I mean outright bawled myself into the ugly cry reading this post ... you (and your family) seem like the strongest group of people! Thanks for sharing this story and I'm gonna pop on over to your blog now!!! <3
I was so sad reading this. I'm so sorry. It makes you remember how important life really is, thanks for sharing Stephanie. I'm your newest follower! Your blog is adorable!
Wow...I am just in tears over this post. I can't even begin to imagine what it is like to lose a father and at such a young age. Stephanie is such an inspiration to me...I'm so glad she shared this story with all of us today.
Oh Stephanie, your story was beautiful and tragic and so inspiring. Your dad must be so proud of all three of you!
~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com
Wow. This was really deep and moving! You are such a strong girl. Thanks for sharing this!
I must say that I didn't make it all the way through this post. I lost my mom in April and am getting married next October. I've saved this post in hopes that one day I can read through it.
Thank you for sharing
I'm crying at work. My coworker better not come back any time soon or he's going to find a hot mess. Thank you SO much for sharing. Your family is so strong! Your dad is so proud of y'all, I'm sure.
I am going to beat you little girl { I am crying} but I want to hug your neck too! :) Reading this makes me want to go home after work and love on both my parents. I want to share one of my favorite verses that I have come to love with you, We may never understand his wisdom but we simply have to trust his will, trust in his timing, rely on his promises, wait for his answers, believe in his miracles, and relax in his presence {James 4:8} For his promises are like the stars, the darker the night the brighter they shine ;) You are now on my list of strongest girlfriends I know! {NOT that you weren't BEFORE ;)} xoxoxoxoxo God love ya Stephy!!
OMG. SO SWEET! Steph is an absolute doll, and I know her dad would be so proud of the woman she has become!!
wow, that brought tears to my eyes. It's definitely true that this moment is the only one we have for sure. Thanks for sharing that, Stephanie.
This post was so amazing! It took me awhile to read it because I was crying! Thank you for sharing such an amazing and loving post! xoxo
Thank you for sharing. I lost my father in my early 20's too. So your story really hit home.
My cousin forwarded this link to me. I lost my beloved father on August 30 to a heart attack. It's been a difficult blow to overcome!! My life will never be the same... Thanks for sharing your story. : )
Steph you made me cry! I can't even begin to imagine what you, your mom, and your brother went through. You are such an inspiration for handling it so well and looking on the bright side. I definitely don't think I would have handled it with such grace. You're right. Everything happens for a reason. God does not give us things we can't handle. Thanks for sharing!
WOW, what an amazing/inspirational story. That is a fear know I have, of losing a loved one so young. Thank you for sharing this with us... you are one strong girl!!!
Wow! Life is so precious and sometimes we get caught up in the day to day routine and forget just how precious each day is. Thank you for sharing this story and reminding me that life is short and can change in a second so live each day to the fullest.
Such a moving story, I def. teared up a little
What a great post! This definitely makes you think of how you view things. Thank you for sharing. You are truly someone to admire.
aw.. this makes me sad... my dad died in his is his forties also with a heart attack so i know how you feel.. i'm so sorry for your loss..:(
I have never been so touched in my entire life. Your story is my biggest fear. My dad had a heart attack at 42, and lived through it. I was 5, and although then I didn't know how serious it was... now that I'm 20 I do understand how serious it is, and him having another one is my biggest fear. Thank you so much for your story!
such an amazing story...way to make me cry during work!! haha
<3
Such an amazing story and an amazing lady! Thank you for sharing your story, Stephanie. I lost my father to cancer a few years ago, and it was all very sudden. Something I'm thankful for, because he didn't suffer but still wasn't easy.
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