Saturday, October 22, 2011

"BUTT OUT"

can you hear my super excited tone of voice?
 no, you can't.
because i'm so NOT thrilled.
in fact, i get to looki forward to my guest bathroom smelling
like dirt...
until march...
literally...
no, no. we do not have children.
i take that back, i sort of do. his name is husband.
he washes his clothes in dirt smelling detergent.
he brushes his teeth with hunter toothpaste.
he wears dirt smelling deodorant.. yuck!
i get the evil eye if i dare clean my guest bathroom with anything but.. dirt.
he has nasty boots tracking in dirt.
dirt on my carpet everyday.
dirt on his face.
blood.
fur.
eyeball guts.
deer poop.

                                                                                                
laugh.



because i totally fooled you there.
he does NOT have eyeball guts or deer poop...
at least i don't think he does,
but he does wear guts.
maybe the proper word is butt guts.
literally.
have you ever heard of butt out?
good!
it's the most horrific thing i've ever seen.
however i'm introduced to it every year in walmart when we go for
the first time to buy the first round of hunting stuff...
i'm always thrilled.
not.
anyway, there is a thing called butt out.
i took a picture of it with my phone but can't get it to upload.
that's probably a good thing.
google it.
never mind.
i will.


okay. here it is.
are you ready?
you are not about to see eye ball guts
but you're about to envision...
straight up ass.
literally.
im not kidding.
drum roll please...

and i'm supposed to eat this?
um, no.
i mean of course not his ass but the mean after his ass
has been removed.
you're mortified, right?
ME TOO!

i'm stopping right there.
the end.
happy {first day of gun season} hunting day!
i hope you kill a biggin honey!
{he has a man room}

my picture finally came up.
here is my picture i orignally took in walmart.

12 comments:

DeeJay said...

Hahahahahaha. This is why I take my deer to the processor. lol. Hope he gets a biggin! Im hoping to get me one tonight. :)

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

Gag

Steph@ Living The Young Life said...

oh my hahaha... I am going to let my husband read this.. umm this is every hunters wife thoughts and you just blogged that shizz.. :)

Erin said...

Ahhh....the joys of us being married to "hunters" :)
I've done and seen more stuff than I care to ever admit to since being with D.
Good luck to your hubby!! :)

Karen Mortensen said...

I never knew there was such a thing. Thanks for the education. LOL

Ashleigh Nichole said...

oh how I hate this time of year...I swear that is all our men have on their minds is hunt hunt hunt

Faith said...

oh my gosh, poor you. i have no idea what i would do if hubby hunted. no idea. actually he probably wouldn't be my husband. but i appreciate all the hunters who bring me food, hehe :)

Charlotte said...

i just went with my boyfriend to buy one of these! i couldnt even go up front with him to check out. gross! why must guys have such disgusting hobbies? does he use special deer scented bodywash and shampoo? craziness!

Kristin said...

Bahahaha!!! I LOVE IT!!!! gotta love bein a deer widow! and no shave november makes it even better!good luck this year. My hubs and little cowgirl went this mornin. didn't get anything tho :(
maybe tomoro.

Carolyn said...

OMG! That's the grossest thing I've seen all day. HAHA I love that you blogged about it! :)

I have to say... I'm not too disappointed that Jake isn't a hunter... LOL!

Lindsey said...

WOW, Jess! I must say...this was...HAHAHA...hilarious. You crack me up. Honestly, Greg loves to hunt and has never, ever, ever, mentioned this "butt out" business. The fresh earth {yes, that's the technical scent of his preference} detergent, deodorant, body mist [gaaayyyyy] fills my house as well. Makes me want to take a shower just thinkin of it. Guess that's what we got when we selected "Hank William" wannabees for husbands!

brlracincwgrl said...

This had me giggling! So funny! My boyfriend huts, is an avid hunter! We have the no scent body wash, detergent, deodorant, fox piss , and whatever the hell else he can buy that will make him smell NOT like a human!

See, here's the crazy thing! I'm going hunting with him for the FIRST time ever in my life. Next week is when our modern gun season opens, pray for me!