Wednesday, January 4, 2012

8 Relationship Habits ...

...that you should kick to the curb this year.

Yes I am a newly-wed, therefore I'm obsessed with the perfect relationship right?
Wrong! Don't mis-judge me.
Yes, I am a newly wed. Yes I am very involved in my relationship with my husband.
No, I do not believe in perfect relationships - I don't even know what perfect really means.
However, my husband and I have come down a very long path long before we ever started planning this wedding, playing house & becoming Mr. & Mrs. Lots of break ups {Lots meaning like more than five} & lots of tears, confusion & WTFs? We've always been far from perfect.  In love & back out of love only to find the love we've waited 10 {very close to 11} years for... with each other. Life is pretty amazing. Finding this love meant completely sacrificing things we said we'd never do or give up. Finding this relationship we have meant completely understanding each other and never disrespecting in ANY way towards one another.  Yes, we fail at times. Our relationship made a double 360 in January 2010. We were on our way to forever.
Once upon a time in far never ever wanna go back there land - I heard this statement over and over and over again  "Relationships shouldn't be that hard. They shouldn't be that much work."

{Cough} Bull-Shiiii
Okay, so I agree that they shouldn't be THAT hard or THAT much work. But they are most definitely hard work. I like to rephrase it and say
"Relationships take a whole lot of energy."
Oh but they do. Which is why I thought the need to share this article I found on TheNest.Com . Maybe it could help areas that you don't really know exsist.

8 Bad Relationship Habits to Kick
 this year.

1} The PDA Habit -
 You stick your tongue down your partner's throat in a cab, in a movie theater, in the back pew at church. You call each other sickeningly syrupy names (you know what I'm talking about, Schmoopy). The thing is, you make your friends nauseous. You make parents cover their children's eyes.
The fix: The next time you're in public, imagine your mother is seated next to you. I really hope this stops you.
couple walking \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest

2} The {other} PDA Habit -
{I'm guilty of this at home with my hubby. He gets onto me ALL.THE.TIME. Here's my sign!
 Is it to late to add it to my New Years Resolution?}
We're not talking sloppy kisses; we mean your smartphone. Your manners fly out the door when you're glued to your iPhone. You send emails at the dinner table. You tweet at the movies. You talk to your partner ("Mm hmm, mm hmm, yep...") while simultaneously playing Angry Birds.
The fix: Try to get through an entire evening without your PDA -- and focus on present company instead)
woman on phone ignoring boyfriend \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest

3} The TV Habit -
Every night's a threesome that includes you, your partner and that trusty old pal: the DVR. True, there's a lot to be said for the comfort of getting into your pj's and catching up on your shows together, but you can't always act like the Old Married Couple. Until, well, you actually are. And even then....
The fix: One week without TV. (Yes, Hulu counts as TV.)
couple watching tv \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest 

4} The Smothering Habit
9:05 a.m. text: "Morning! Get to work okay?" 10:10 a.m.: "Soooo bored at work. You?" 10:11 a.m.: "Is it 5 o'clock yet?" 10:45 a.m. phone call: "Hey, what are you up to?" And it's not even lunchtime yet .
The fix: One hour without contact. If that's too aggressive, try 10 minutes and work your way up. It's fine to want to be in constant contact, but give yourselves some time to miss each other.
woman using cell phone \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest

5} The Teasing Habit
{Thanks to this article I maybe just realized I need to lay off this a bit, even though I'm playing. Who likes a teaser?}
It's all meant in good fun, right? You tease him about his haircut, his clothes, his eating habits, his job, the barren walls in his apartment, the way he cleans his car, his toothbrushing, his sunglasses, his [fill in the blank]. After a while, it's not funny; it's actually pretty annoying and demoralizing.
The fix: Don't try to go cold turkey and stop the teasing  --- it's not realistic. But try to trim it by 20 percent.

couple teasing \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Shutterstock / The Nest

6} The MIA Friend Habit
Tell me if this sounds familiar: You interact with your best friend about once a month -- to "like" one of her posts on Facebook. When you finally do hang out with the group, you bring your significant other and you both keep looking at your watches, whispering to each other and wondering how early you can bolt.
The fix: A weekend with your friends -- without your partner. Remember: Your other relationships need nurturing too.
stoop girls afraid to leave their stoop \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest

7} The Over Analyzing Habit
You spend more time talking about the relationship than you do actually experiencing the relationship. Open communication is one thing, but when you take it to the lunatic fringe -- Where will we be in five years? What did it mean when you said... -- what you actually could be doing is sabotaging things.
The fix: Shock therapy. (Kidding.) But on your next date night -- or any day -- try to live in the present instead of thinking about the future.
couple fighting \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest

8}The Non-Dating Habit
{agreed. VERY important.}
You've found someone you love, so you don't need to go on stupid dates anymore; the courtship is over! Taking your partner out to dinner and a movie sounds about as logical as taking a surprise vacation to Guam.
The fix: 8 p.m. Reservations. Wine. Candlelight. Romance. (Don't let it die.)
couple on a date \\ 8 bad relationship habits to break this year \\ Photo: Shutterstock / The Nest

So, did it make you think a little as it did me?
I think so!


Steph@ Living The Young Life said...

i love love this!!!

Nicole said...

This post is so true!! I have been married to my husband for 4 years and we are still learning and figuring it out. No relationship is perfect but its always good to want to make it better. Love your blog :)


K said...

Love this.. great post.. Thanks for sharing, I am going to have to make sure to cut a few of these things out!! Thank you so much

Delta Daisies said...

Great post! Love this! Very informational!

Stacy said...

Love this! Thanks for sharing.

I am a big time overanalyzer! Eek!

Carolyn said...

These are all so true! I'm guilty of the phone thing, and the teasing! And the tv. HAHA Oh man. I better get to work. :)

Nicole said...

This is REALLY good! Unfortunately, it took us learning the hard way to figure out some of these, you NEED to still go on dates. You NEED to turn the TV off at night sometimes. Fortunately for us, there's no cell service where we live (I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, seriously), so that one's not a problem! But yeah, there is NO such thing as the perfect relationship! As soon as you stop trying to achieve it, it will get better automatically ::)

Rebecca said...

these are great! I especially agree with the no phone thing! One time I went on a 1st date and when we sat down the guy put his phone on the table! I thought it was so rude, and what if his drink spilled on it? it was so odd

Anonymous said...

its funny reading these, i would think to myself "i don't do that!"...and then 5 min later do it (texting), but luckily nothing is perfect and i kinda like it that way ;)

Aimee L said...

Loved this post :)

What my attention was the teasing...def going to try toning that one down!


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