Tuesday, November 8, 2011

21years later, you're not my Mom & Dad? {Guest Post}

Meet Crystal from Life as a Seed. Crystal is a wife & a mommy living in Michigan. She is about to open up her heart and share an experience ... life changing, that will completely shock you. It would shock anyone.
Be sure to hope over to her blog world and share your words & love!


Andy proposed to me in March of 2005. After that, obviously
wedding brain took over. Everything I thought about from
that point on was wedding, wedding wedding! Until the day
that I checked my Myspace....(yes, I said it...Myspace) and I had a message from some girl saying that she was my
 sister.....HUH?! Um, well unless your blonde and your name
is Lisa, I don't know what you are talking about. She wasn't
 ANY of those things. She was like 14 years old, half black
 and well...NOT blonde. LOL! Her name is Shantell....and
well, she wasn't lying. She was my sister. Half sister, but
 nonetheless, my sister.
So anyways, back to this Myspace message. In so many
words it said that I was being lied to my whole life, that the
parents that I know so well as Mom and Dad took me from
 my birth mother, and hid me so that my "mother" was never
to find me. So I kind of just put this to the side. I had a
 wedding to think about. I didn't want to be bothered. This
girl OBVIOUSLY had the wrong girl. I messaged her back
saying just that. "I'm sorry, but truly, I think you have the
wrong girl. I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help, hope that you
can find who you are looking for."

Well, that wasn't good enough for her. She kept messaging
me and telling me all these things. I just brushed her off.
Until she started posting baby pictures of me, and then
adoptions papers and things with my name all over them. Ok, now I'm thinking WTF is going on?! I tell Andy, and
 he's just as skeptical. But with all this documentation and
 what not, I'm kind of a little interested to see what the deal
 is. I didn't bring any of this up to my Mom...I thought she
would be like "who is this crazy person...people are
nuts...blah blah blah". And I knew that she was just as
caught up in the wedding as us. So I just went about my
business (wedding, wedding, wedding) and just tried to keep
a straight head. Which was hard with this is the back of my
head...it was really all I could think about. Like REALLY? I'm
 about to get married, and now I could possibly be
ADOPTED?! I'm 21 years old! How could this all of a sudden
 become a possibility? And if so...WHY....WHY did my
parents NEVER tell me?! Those were just some things that
were going through my head
So, after the best wedding EVER, and going on the BEST
Honeymoon EVER....I take all this information to my Mom
and am very excited for her to tell me what's going on. Tell
me that this person is nuts, and she has the wrong girl...but
 then again, how could that be. This girl knows my name,
 and has baby pics of me, and my name all over these
documents. I pull up the pictures on Myspace and show
them to her. And, almost immediately she starts tearing up.
 And I look at her and the only words that come out of her
 mouth when I showed her a picture of the lady in question
is, "yes, that is your birth mother." WHAT??!?! You mean, I
 didn't come out of YOU?! How is that possible?! At 21 years
old...I JUST got married, Just started my life...how could I
just be finding out that I'm adopted? She told me that this
 girl (Andrea is her name) was, in so many words, a problem
child. She was friends with my sister and brother and their
 friends in high school, and didn't have the best home life. Her parents were sick of her going out all night and
 partying and what not. So my Mom kind of took her in to just
help her out. Give her a warm place to stay. Weird thing is
 that my sister and brother and all their friends all knew
 Andrea when she was pregnant with me. She was 15 when
 she gave birth to me. She tried the whole single mother
 thing for a little while. The Father didn't want anything to do
 with me. He didn't believe that I was his...I guess Andrea
 and this guy had a one night stand and bam...that's how I
became me. So after trying to be a mother and trying to take
care of me, her wild child tendencies came back and she
 started going out again, leaving me at all hours of the
night....not taking care of me. All that kind of stuff. My Mom
 was basically raising me because she knew that if she
 would even attempt to let Andrea, she would probably just
 leave me in the crib and climb out the window. Which I think
might have happened once. I guess I was also left on the
 steps of a police station too...I was in and out of foster
 homes and all that too. There was even letters that my Mom
gave me from the Foster home about me. Like how I liked to
 eat my cereal to the way I liked to be put to bed. THAT was
surreal to read...NUTS

 So...Here's the deal. I am the oldest of 9 kids. Yes, you read  that right...9!!!! She had a baby 3 years after she had me  and kept him! When I found that out, I was so mad!! Like,  really? How could you have been any better off 3 years later?! Just didn't seem right to me. So I thought that I would try and get a hold of Andrea. I wrote her a long message on Myspace, and waited and waited and waited...finally received a response. Basically telling her side of the story.
Which didn't really match anything that the adoption papers
 it was in my "best interest" to keep it from me. But
 there was documents in the adoption papers on "how to tell
 a toddler they are adopted". So they made the choice on
 their own to keep this secret. But, then I find out that it really wasn't a secret...literally, everybody that had ever crossed my path in my 21 years of living knew that I was adopted.
 For some reason, my Mom would just tell then that I was
adopted, but I didn't know. So just to not say anything.
 Really? Cuz if you would have just NOT told anybody, then
 there wouldn't have been a secret to keep....right?! Nobody
except FAMILY would have known. My Husband was the
 only one that never knew. Besides me. But HIS best friend
 and his girlfriend knew. That just made me mad. 
All in all I am who I am because I was adopted. I wouldn't
 have survived any other way. It was tough to find out, but
 the parents that raised me were amazing for what they did.
 And I appreciate everything they did for me. I wouldn't have had my life happen any other way. If it weren't for me being  adopted, I wouldn't have met my husband, and I wouldn't  have the most amazing daughter right now. So for that, I'm thankful!

So there it is. My life changing experience. Crazy, right? 21
 years old, JUST got married, just started my life, and BAM!

 I'm all of a sudden adopted. But it is what it is, and that's my life!  Thank You for reading, and I hope that if there is anybody  out there that is going through the same thing, that needs  help coping...you can come to me. I'm here! I can hopefully  help in some way!

Thank You, Jessica. I really appreciate the opportunity to
put my story out there!!


I couldn't imagine.
When I read this my heart exressed emotions I don't think I've ever felt before. This was remarkable. Thank YOU, Crystal for opening your world and  sharing a very touching point in your life.


♥ H ♥ said...

Oh my! Can't imagine going through that but you seem to have a good attitude about it! Everything happens for a reason :)

Karen Mortensen said...

Wow. What a story.

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness! I could NOT imagine dealing with something like this. So glad you were able to flip it around and make something good out of it. xoxo